Obligatory ORD reflection (albeit somewhat late)

MY FIRST BLOG POST AS A CIVILIAN(NSMAN)!

Before I enlisted, I wrote some stuff.

I'm hoping to take the two years in army as a chance to learn as much as possible. Although I wouldn't expect NS to be a bed of roses, I'm sure that it would be an enriching and enlightening experience. - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

And indeed it has been! How do I even begin? Let me first start off with enlistment. I enlisted with absolutely no expectations at all. No, wait, I expected it to be like RI Sec 1 orientation camp, which wasn't reasonable, and the PSLs(who themselves haven't been in army anyway) constantly told us that army would be worse. Now I'm not saying that they were lying or scaring us. What they said was probably true, because army AT THAT POINT IN TIME could have been less reasonable.

So I had a lot of imaginary fear that the commanders would anyhow tekan us for the slightest reason, and I think it screwed up my BMT recruit experience in a number of ways. Anyhow, I wasn't being a douchebag to anyone, so it was fine. I was pretty proactive and hardworking. And super uptight. For not much reason.

During BMT, I discovered that determination can only bring you so far. In my mind I wanted to believe that I can act altruistically, and most of the time I did behave like a "virtuous recruit", if there is such a term. I would pick up rubbish on the floor even if no one was around. I would clean the toilet if the previous guy who used it stained it. I would help people to fill their bottles during the rest times during route marches. Not remarkable or outstanding, but sometimes it required inner strength when I felt that I was doing more than my fair share, and someone else kept complaining about it.

I reached my threshold of "shit-tanking" during route march. For a bit of context, route marches are when you wear all your infantry gear with weapon and field pack and walk in a file for a certain distance, say 16km. You walk 4 km in about 45 minutes, then you get to rest for 15 minutes. During this 15 minutes you need to drink water, and after drinking you need to refill your bottle. Water refills are given in 19 litre jerry cans, and we found that the most efficient method is to get 4 guys to fill the bottles for everyone, while they all rested. People filling the bottles have to squat or kneel for almost the entire 15 minutes, so their legs don't get as much rest(which matters).

Now in the BMT platoon there are about 40 to 50 people, so you would expect that if everyone got their fair share of work, each person would only be filling bottles 10% of the time, right? But during the 16km march, I filled bottles after the first 4km, and also after the 8th km because I happened to be in the front row. At the 12 km I still happened to be in the front row with a jerry can in front on me, and everyone just passed their bottles forward. I asked if anyone hadn't filled bottles before, but nobody admitted. As the bottles accumulated in front of me I became "obliged" to fill the bottles, and I grudgingly filled them anyway. I was pretty sore after that, so for the 24 km march I didn't volunteer to fill the bottles at any interval.

The whole point of the story is: I was not longer the "virtuous man" when I was tired and blistered and aching, and I made a big deal about something like filling bottles, which normally wouldn't have mattered.

OCS Service term when when I started to feel that unreasonable expectations started coming in. Of course, there were all the recruit expectation: Your bunk had to be always clean. You must not talk in a file. But in BMT it was easier to manage, because there is usually 15 minutes reaction time from bunk to ground floor. In service term, you have about 2 to 5 minutes to react to anything. Maybe it's for a lesson. Maybe someone wants to talk to us. Maybe someone did something wrong and everyone's getting punished for it. At the same time our bunks were supposed to be clean, our drying yards tidy, and we cannot talk in a file just to find out what the hell was going on.

Well, supposed to be. Actually, many people didn't care. Lots of people took the risk and left their bunks in whatever state it was in. Occasionally people talked in a file, and generally got away with it because nobody was looking. Perhaps because I missed a lot of in-file convos, I was kinda outcasted in service term. I don't exactly remember the circumstances, but I did recall that often there were so many requirements on us, we had no choice but to cut corners somewhere. And when the instructors chose to inspect something and found that it wasn't done by everyone, it's usually "How come they can do this and you cannot? You special is it?" There is no telling what they would choose to inspect.

Then, I thought I had learnt a lesson: Sometimes rules have to be broken. Now as I reflect upon it further, I realise that there was actually no lesson to be learnt. The instructors just didn't know that it was too much for us, so no matter what, someone was going to get punished for cutting corners and it's nobody's fault. Or perhaps, the actual meta-lesson is: Shit happens. Get over it.

I wasn't a good cadet during service term. I was quite blur and less fit than most people in OCS, so lots of people helped me along, but it was both a physically and mentally tough period especially since I didn't have the social support or "friendships forged with fire" that many people claimed to have gotten during OCS. It's not that I didn't try, but my interests just don't overlap with many people's. My obsession with not talking in a file didn't help much. I'm really glad to be able to make it through that period.

On one occassion, the whole wing got punished for something I can't remember. After the punishment, the wing commander gathered us around him, and asked, "All of you close your eyes."
And we did.
"How many of you felt that something wasn't right? Raise your hands."
(I didn't feel that anything was wrong, so I didn't raise my hand.)
"Now open your eyes."
About 10-20% of the wing raised their hands.

I can't remember what the wing commander said after that, but the image and message was stuck deeply in me: Voicing out against the status quo is particularly difficult, because it often seems that you are alone and powerless. But you might actually be voicing out what other people are also thinking. If you have a good reason to voice something out, chances are someone else would agree with you, and even if nobody agrees with you, you have done nothing wrong.

Next I became a combat engineer officer cadet in pro term! It was somewhat better than service term, since it required more brain cells. In service term, after booking out I just wanted to sleep, nurse my injuries and talk to people before dragging my blistered feet to SAFTI MI. During pro term however, I actually had enough energy to read some books, which is pretty nice.

But there were also some selfish people. During pro term, we had to serve guard duty, and some of us are given weekend duties. Sundays and Saturdays are considered by the system to be equivalent, but actually, you stay in camp for half a day more when you do Saturday duty than Sunday duty, so people usually prefer Sunday duty. For that weekend, I had the fortune to be scheduled Sunday duty. But someone who was scheduled Saturday duty on that day had a prize presentation ceremony, and he asked me to swap with him. I did realise that it meant that I had to stay 6 hours more in camp if I swapped with him, but I figured that even if I rejected it, he would still ask someone else, and that person would kena also, so might as well I take it.

So I did. When I did the Saturday duty, @@ mentioned, "Eh, I thought && is supposed to do today's duty? How come you do?"
I replied, "Orh, because he got something on today, so I swapped with him."
@@: "You dunno that Saturday duty you do half a day more? You tio chiak by && alrd."
Me: "It's ok lah, since that thing is important to him he'll ask someone else anyway, then that person will still have to swap with him what."
@@: "Wah you really like to do Saturday duty one ah. First time hear." (By then I was pretty pissed off)
haoyi: "That's because not all people just think only for themselves."

That was really encouraging for me, because yes, technically my argument for accepting the swap was based on maximising net utility for all, but actually accepting the swap meant that I, of all the other people doing Sunday duty, had to be the one who sacrifices half a day at home for some goddamned principle. And knowing that someone else believes in it too made me feel that I wasn't being an idiot. I will find the chance to pay it forward when I can.

That's of course not to say that I'll always follow what other people believe is right. But I think inside all of us, we have some idea of what is the right thing to do, but when action towards that principle comes at a cost of some personal sacrifice another voice tells us "why are you doing this? how does it benefit you? why must it be you and not someone else? is it really worth it?" At this point, external encouragement makes a difference because it lends credibility to the internal assertation that "yes, it is worth it, because this is the correct principle to follow."

After commissioning, I became a secretary for Army Open House. I was really busy, but it was really a satisfying job, because I was in a position where if I don't do anything, other people would be a lot more busy. I started to see the merits of delegation and the importance of proper tasking. I was exposed to a little bit of office politics. I saw the purpose of organisational charts, meetings, agendas, timelines, presentations, minutes, and forms. Now as I take a step back, I find it really breathetaking how the Chairman's vision unfolded with every Exco meeting and finally came to fruition at the Army Open House itself.

So those are some of the enriching and enlightening experiences at army.

Hopefully, by being exposed to people from different strata in the society, I can gain a broader perspective of things. - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

The places I'm posted to are still pretty sheltered, so I can't say much. It is still a more diverse set of people than RJ though, so I can't say I learnt nothing either.

I agree that life in the military is not something everyone wants to experience, but then again, it's not something everyone gets to experience.- Yak @ 10 Jan 08

Go for the next Army Open House in 2011. Singapore Combat Engineers have set the bar really high this time round, so I'm pretty sure you'll get to do lots of cool stuff there by then.

We would go to university in the same year as Koh Zheng Ning!!! Doesn't that alone worth 2% of your lifespan? - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

OH YA HOR!

Hanging around with a new bunch of people is going to be a test of my social skills yet again. I shall try to do better than I have done before. If I succeed, it could be rewarding. - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

I figured that maybe it's not so much of a lack of social skills than the fact that I'm really just not interested in talking about what most people are interested in talking about and I'm not interested in doing what most people are interested in doing? I'm sure the average popular guy would be in awkward silence in a party full of, say, Star Trek fans (I'm sure I would be too, LOL). Of course, socialising is not a choice for me because I need to know some people just in case, y'know, I need them one day, but it also doesn't mean that if I don't enjoy their company then something is wrong with me.

Maybe I'm still young and idealistic. NS has a proven track record for turning people into cynics, but well, at least if I do, when I read this post again, I get to laugh at myself! - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

In fact, army has made me even more idealistic! (though not more young) Actually, a lot of people cynnical about the army were already cynical from the start.

And I'm really glad that I gave myself a set of goals and perspectives for NS before I enlisted, so that it is easier for me to make a post ORD reflection, and has helped to make my NS journey one that is more meaningful than it has already been. Thank you Yak @ 10 Jan 08!

You're welcome. - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

Wait... WHAT?!

just kidding.

Random racist joke:

If Cyclops was Chinese, would he shoot diffration patterns?

Also:

Ahh transition lenses. I've seen a couple of people in Army wearing them, and I must say, it is a really smart investment.

A smart investment for the company that made those lenses, I mean.

Transition lenses changes its darkness with the amount of UV light entering the eye. Actually, it is theoretically possible to increase the opacity of the lenses to visible light without increasing the opacity to UV. In fact, increasing the opacity to visible light actually makes your pupils dilate, increasing the amount of UV light and enters your eye. Of course, as long as the increase in UV opacity overshadows the dilation of the pupil, there is no harm done. Additionally, it reduces glare, which is kinda the whole point of sunglasses.

However, transition lenses also signal to everyone around you how much UV light their eyes are getting. Even when it is overcast, transition lenses still get discernably tinted.

This would remind everyone to protect their precious eyes from UV, so they would buy sunglasses, and preferably transition lenses.

I feel lonely. Maybe it’s just a mood swing. After all, I don’t have any more or less friends and acquaintances as compared to yesterday. Different emotions trigger different thoughts, so I am writing down my present thoughts lest I forget them after I cheer up.

I suspect that it is a common human condition to have only a few really good friends. Do these people ever feel lonely?

I realise that I have a lot of reservations even with people whom I consider as my good friends. I worry that those whom I treat as my good friends do not treat me as such. I worry that they are not interested to hear what I say. I worry that talking about my weaknesses would be perceived as a means of garnering sympathy and attention. I worry that I would impose too much on them and become an inconvenience. I dare not reveal my fears and desires to anyone – those are the darnest of all things to talk about.

Ultimately, this means that there is nobody who understands me. I can’t blame anyone for that, because I don’t allow anyone to.

I hope that things can change. The above fears arise from my thoughts which appear reasonable, but are in fact backed by a fear or reluctance to trust people. As I have read, trust is a feeling that you get when you look at certain people in the eye. Supposedly, once you trust someone, you don’t think about how the person might harm you, which can be positively reinforcing. When you fully trust someone, you don’t think so much.

At the same time, trust is a faith not based on any reason, and I can’t just will myself to trust someone I don’t. To simulate trust, I tried to consciously think less when I interact with people. It isn’t easy doing something that isn’t justified and you don’t feel particularly passionate about, but it gets less uncomfortable with practice (perhaps because the good or bad outcomes of these irrational and dispassionate choices reinforce behaviour, making some choices less dispassionate over time). With more practice doing irrational stuff that I don’t feel for, I think it would become easier for me to talk to people. After all, so much of my daily speech consist of stuff I don’t believe and I don’t feel for.

Sometimes I’m envious of people who like to talk about soccer, cars, food and travel. It seems a lot easier for them to talk, and there seems to be so much to say. They don’t need to work hard to, y’know, just hang around with a bunch of guys and enjoy. While I didn’t need to work that hard for my studies, I wonder if that would actually make that much of a difference to my life in the long run if I can’t enjoy talking to most people.

Perhaps, finding a good friend is so important, that it is worth sacrificing a few acquaintances for.

(Looking on the bright side, I don’t need to have people around to be happy either. It’s just that being alone makes being moody that much worse.)

And why am I telling you all these? Because if I only talked to people I trust, I would have nobody to talk to.

Wow this is such an emo post. So emo that I might just delete it when I cheer up, erasing this part of my existence. Oh well. Xin yang caa 25-08 signs off now.

I was undisciplined. But things have to change.

Since I left primary school, life has only gotten better for me. Academic success was of utmost priority, and while I wouldn't say it was a breeze for me, I did enjoy studying. My grades were not something to be ashamed of, so my parents gave me a great deal of autonomy. I chose to spend time studying what I liked (and attending Judo training, which I admit I didn't like that much). For many parents, it seemed like a good thing. They often told my parents they wished that their kids would study, and my parents were proud of me for that. The education system forced everyone to go through the same thing, and I felt really fortunate that I actually enjoyed it. Left to my own devices, I would learn what is required of the syllabus and more. It required no discipline on my part.

There was little pressure to do anything I didn't really like. I didn't really like to go out and watch movies. I didn't really like to play LAN. I didn't really like to hang out at shopping malls. I didn't like to talk to new people. I suspect that people were doing many other things that I didn't like to do, and of course I didn't have to do them either. Afterall, these are the things that parents don't usually want their children to do.

But those were normal social activities. "Normal" people want to play and don't want to study. For "normal" people, social skills are not much of a problem, since they acquire it while they do what they like, which is to play. As such, nobody gave any pressure to anyone to attain social skills. Academic grades, however, need to be worked at. A combination of external pressure and self-discipline would be required to produce results, because they don't normally like to do it.

Due to lack of external pressure, I didn't notice that I lacked social skills until Sec 4, when a fellow Judoka sat with me as I was eating at S11. I recalled from previous experience that Alex Ang would usually order drinks for everyone at the table in a situation like this. It felt really unnatural ordering drinks for someone else for the first time. After I had finished my food, I wiped my mouth with tissue paper, then offered the fellow Judoka tissue paper, even though he had not finished his food yet. I felt so stupid then.

Since then, a few occasions made my lack of social skills glaringly apparent to myself. CCAL camp was the biggest shock to me. (And at that point in time when I was so emotionally vulnerable, Wang Rui gave me a donut! I don't think I'll ever forget that.) But still, after emo-ing a while, I would be back to myself.

It ought to be apparent that if I were put into a situation where social skills mattered more than academics, then I should be developed more evenly, just like what a "normal" person usually experiences in school.

Amazingly, that's exactly what happened. Just like how social skills seemed to be secondary to academics in school, it turns out to be the exact opposite in National Service. I admit that I didn't learnt that as a trainee, since I was still not disciplined enough to force myself to learn social skills. But being appointed as the secretary for Army Open House meant that I had to call up many people, and occasionally asking people for information. Only then did I realise the importance of networking: things really get done more easily if you know someone in that business, firstly because there is less apprehension in making the call, and secondly because the other guy is less hesitant about giving you useful information.

Knowing the importance of networking, rather than the usual "oh no I suck", has so far been a greater motivation for learning social skills. And the usual sense of "having fun", it seems, is a pretty good way to learn. "Having fun" is tiring, but just as one would study harder as the exams draw near, I must have more "fun" as I sense the upcoming test of social skills as enrolment looms near. It's not that near, you say? Well, I'm quite a slow learner, actually.

About 3 or 4 years ago, there was a stall that sold Hand-made noodles(手工面) near the Choa Chu Kang Bus Interchange, which I regular eat from. Almost daily without fail I would order dumpling noodles, and eat it with chilli sauce. One day, after eating there for like 10 times and she can recognise me already, the lady boss told me that the dumplings are traditionally eaten with vinegar and ginger. I tried it once, and I got addicted. After that, she'll always give me vinegar and ginger, while she gives other people chilli, since that's what they usually want anyway. Sadly, the stall is no longer there.

However, some time later (like, 1 or 2 years later), there is this stall other near to the Choa Chu Kang Bus Interchange that also sells Hand-made noodles(手工面), and I would order the dumpling noodles. Without fail, the waitress(can tell she's from China) would serve me the dumpling noodles together with a saucer of chilli sauce to my table. However, I still prefer to eat dumplings with vinegar, and I'll walk back from the table to the stall to get a saucer of vinegar, pouring a black liquid from a red jar into a saucer. And without fail, she'll turn to me quickly and say an a surprised tone, "那是醋啊!" (That's vinegar!). I would always reply, "对啊!"(That's right!) and walk back to my table with a saucer of black vinegar. It kinda made me wonder that perhaps, the dumpling with vinegar and ginger thingy isn't really a "traditional" thing after all. But heck, I just like eating it with vinegar anyway, traditional or not.

Sometimes I wish that the waitress would recognise me, and just give me the vinegar instead of chilli, or at least not look so surprised when I pour myself a saucer of vinegar. I always feel a tinge of guilt when I waste the perfectly good saucer of chilli. But today, when I ordered dumpling noodles, she gave me vinegar and ginger instead of chilli sauce! Pleasantly surprised, I couldn't help but show a wide grin, and she returned with what seemed to me the most sincere smile that I've seen from her.

Man, that really made my day.

Oh my!

There's no "I" who can force myself to do something; the parts that makes me want or not want to do something are just different parts of me. What with "fighting spirit" to overcome the odds and the external influences! I have not fully realised the implications of a soulless self. I'm gonna take a while to get used to it.

Can I know the right path and want to take it?


Ah crap, I'm getting existential all over again.

Somehow, happy songs don't sound the same when you are sad.

Still, "You are a Pirate(Lazytown)" is a pretty darned jolly song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFzylCng2Zc

Random:

If Sophia is a philosopher, is she also a narcissist?

"I knew I loved you before I met you;
I have been travelling faster than light"

So...I...won't...he...si...tate...no...more...
no...more...it...can...not...wait...
I'm...sure...~!

"In my world, there would a big fan that would blow away the dust, so that they sky would alway be blue."

"In MY world, I would be piloting a huge robot that can destroy everything with missiles and shoots laser beams, so that the factories producing pollution would not be able to pollute anymore."

Anyway, the Horlicks song is getting better. It used to be just reciting how much nutrition it contains. Now it's about growing up healthy so as to fulfil the kids' ambitions! Pretty nice.

Random stuff:

"Which is the part that you don't understand?" is not the same as "Which part of this do you not understand?"

When you see a Youtube video that is rated 3 stars, but you think it deserves 4 stars, would you rate it 4 stars (to chip in your vote) or 5 stars (so that it receives 4-star rating)?

A series of random thoughts.

Ring, Ring! Hello, General Lee speaking?

Our robots are going to fight your robots. Our robots are strong. Our robots will defeat your robots.

If a bunch of surgeons refuse to perform an operation, do you call it a surgical strike?

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?" You stumped me.

"A rhombus is a rectangle that a bitch would draw."

"Some say it's a promethium tip, others say it's a tritium tip. Nevermind, we'll call it the pritium tip."

I just had like the weirdest dream last night. But because there is no way for you to know if I really dreamt it, I could have just made it up and you won't know. And my brain probably made some stuff up so that everything appears to make sense.

In the world that I was in, I was just a normal working class guy who only reads news when everyone starts talking about something. In that world, world war 2 didn't happen. Capitalism and communist coexisted in different countries peacefully, and both systems were successful in their own ways. No nukes were ever launched, and there was widespread use of nuclear power everywhere. (This was the context, not the things that I had witnessed, but the things I assume to be true and obvious all these while.) One day, a dirty bomb was set off in some country. It shouldn't have be a very big issue, but it was realised that there was a lot of radioactive waste that went missing. (I read these on the news) So far nothing exciting happened to me. I read about all those things on the news.

It gets really weird here. Somehow, around this time, my friend realised that she can create a portal that allows you to teleport people somewhere else, but she can't teleport herself. With some practice, she could teleport more and more people, and she published videos of herself doing this onto the web. As she got more internet fame, she received a letter from the military (I'm not sure if singapore, or any of the countries as we now know existed in that world, but it was the local armed forces.) that invited her to some ulu place, but told her not to post this on the net. Excited that she has a chance to serve the country, she promptly went, but I went with her because it's such an ulu place.

(Can't remember how we got there.) Escorted by uniformed personnel, we entered this room deep in the building that seems really well secured. An important looking guy (I couldn't recognise ranks, because I had never served in the armed forces before), along with a few other less-important-looking guys came in, and seemed really interested in her ability. He asked her to demonstrate her ability, and which she cheerfully did so, teleporting the less-important-looking guys around the room.

After a few demonstrations, she got really tired. At this point, the important-looking-guy admitted that they had already known that people with her abilities exist, but they had always managed to control them before they managed to publicise this. Nobody in the world is supposed to know that such abilities exist, and they had always been planning to use these people to assist the special forces in infiltration ops. They also had intelligence that the agency responsible for the dirty bomb is actually a well organised terrorist group, and they have assessed that they are capable of crippling nations if they have the ability to teleport people. As the terrorists know where the organised armies are, but not the other way round, the existence of the teleportation ability is a far greater advantage for the terrorists than for the armed forces. As such, the armed forces is trying to round up all the people with this ability, and kill them to prevent the terrorists from having the chance to make use of them. So, in the room well secured by military personnel, my friend and I braced for imminent doom.

And I woke up, feeling very confused.

My purpose of life: To matter to those who matter to me most.

>>Go North

You have entered the final chamber of the Dark Mage's Dungeon. You now find yourself face-to-face with the Dragon.

>>Kill Dragon

With what, your bare hands?

>>YES

Congratulations, you have killed the Dragon with your bare hands! Incredible, isn't it?

The impressions that I get from my readings of popular psychology this past year or so is that psychology is at a pre-paradigm stage, with no particularly dominant over-arching structure that guides its research programs(in the Lakatos sense). There are psychological theories that aim to diagnose and treat people with mental illnesses, theories that aim to encourage certain desired behaviour, theories that were used as political instruments in the struggle for equal rights, and theories that aim to help organisations harness human potential more effectively. It is hard to consider psychology as a single subject, because the only thing that is common to all these theories is that the subject matter is the mind, and that they use the scientific method. Reading about all these theories seems like 瞎子摸象.

Perhaps, it's just that psychology is a HUGE subject, but popular psychology books don't emphasise this point. I would suppose that if all that one knew about science came from popular science books and magazines, science would seem like a really messy subject too. I guess I'm like a guy reading Scientific American and going, "Woah, black holes, cool! But what's that got to do with the health benefits of dark chocolate?"

"The number that I got from the girl at the party doesn't work!"
"Maybe she gave you a fake number."
"Why would she do that?"
"Well, perhaps the Singtel Mobile customer that you're trying to reach is not available."

Three steps to brighten your day.

1) If things don't go as expected, there is always hope! - Canon in D Major

2) Because nothing cannot be conquered with Fighting Spirit and a good dose of Metal. - Rocks Jam Project

3) And thus begins the adventure! - Aya Hirano - Bouken Desho Desho

If you fail to cheer up after the third step, you are diagnosed as clinically depressed. There, I've just saved you a trip to the shrink.

I'm so shallow now. Oh dear. It's good that Nelson is there to share his knowledge with me, so I can learn stuff while bumming around.

But well, just an idea:

Would you be able to recognise the MRT voice when you hear it in person? I mean, I can imagine if people recognise on the road "Oh excuse me, are you the FHM girl of the year?" (Is there such a thing? Never mind, you get my point. Don't do it in front of her grandma though.) What if you are just walking down the road and you hear the MRT voice in person? Would you stop by and ask, "Excuse me, are you the MRT voice?"

Or imagine the MRT voice having a job interview.

"On your CV, you claim that you voiced the soundtrack for MRT station names. If you don't mind, can you say 'Bishan'?"
"Bishan."
"My gosh you ARE the real thing! Can you say 'Orchard'?"
"..."

I remember that when I was in RI and RJ, I would always sleep in the train from Choa Chu Kang to Bishan. When the MRT voice says "Bishan" I would wake up, alight the train and rush off to school. Till now, I still wake up when I reach Bishan even if I don't intend to alight there.

Wouldn't it be very cool if SMRT uploaded the MRT voice soundtracks, along with the person's name, from 1986 to present?

"On Being Certain" by Robert A. Burton has got to be one of the most depressing book I've read so far. You know what Kurt Godel did to Math? And what Descartes did it to EVERYTHING?

Well, using the latest results from psychology and neurology, Dr Burton finished the job by doing it to "Cogito Ergo Sum." Nice one, doc.


To sum it up,

Godel + Descartes + Burton = Massive headache.


Pick it up from your nearest library. If you dare.

The flowers have bloomed in my army camp. Maybe the quick transitions between the blazing sun and the pouring rain serve as signals for the jasmine flowers to bloom together, thereby improving their chances of successful cross-pollenation. Whatever the reason, it remains a fact that there was a huge bloom of Jasmine flowers in my camp, and it's really fragrant. Since young I have always been told that flowers are fragrant, but I never actually associated flowers with fragrance because all the flowers I've seen (i.e. bougainvilla, ixora, hibiscus) have no smell.

Yes, so if you wish to make your house fragrant naturally, plant jasmine. You can't really smell many other flowers.

Only if you are prepared to have them visited by bees though. The jasmine bloom in my camp received good patronage from them.

"How's the bread?"
"Pretty good. You want some?"
"No! I'm genuinely interested in knowing it's quality."

"Hello, is John in?"
"Ahh, please hold on."
"No, it's okay! I just want to know if he's at home."

"Excuse me mister, are you in the queue?"
"No, I'm not in the queue. *steps aside*"
"It's ok! I was just wondering why you've been standing there for so long."

Random idea.

Suppose you invent a head-dress (could be a cap, hat or visor) which contains a patch that measures skin-conductance. The head dress would display the scaled skin-conductance graph of the wearer. This would allow other people would know how stressed you are, and to a certain extent, whether you are lying. However, the display for the skin-conductance is designed such that you can only read the skin-conductance of other people if you are wearing a particular kind of goggles.

Experiment one.

1. Get a bunch of people. Give half of them special goggles.

2. Split them into pairs, so that 1/3 of the pairs have 2 goggles, 1/3 of the pairs have one, and1/3 of the pairs have none.

3. The researcher, while wearing the special goggles, observes them having a conversation with each other, with perhaps some prompting questions.

Which of the cases is the most stressful? Both partners having goggles? Both without goggles? Being the only one without goggles? Or being the only one with goggles?

Experiment two. (Same thing, except the bolded parts)

1. Get a bunch of people. Give half of them special goggles, and give the other half of them similar-looking but normal goggles.

2. Split them into pairs, so that 1/3 of the pairs have 2 special goggles, 1/3 of the pairs have one, and1/3 of the pairs have none.

3. The researcher, while wearing the special goggles, observes them having a conversation with each other, with perhaps some prompting questions.

Which of the cases is the most stressful? Both partners having special goggles? Both without special goggles? Being the only one without special goggles? Or being the only one with special goggles? Would they be able to tell if their partners have special goggles?

Random thoughts:

Some of the recent advertisements are seriously bad, or as Nelson puts it, "No effort!"

Like, the "London Choco Roll" advertisement just involves some airy voice chanting "London Choco Roll" while a yellow fairy dances in front of the said product.

Or, the "Jia xiang mian" advertisement.

"Jia Xiang!" "Mian!"
"Jia Xiang!" "Mian!"
"Jia Xiang Jia Xiang!" "Mian Mian!"
"Jia Xiang Jia Xiang Jia Xiang!" "Mian Mian Mian!"
"ooooooooooh Jia Xiang Mian!"

That's like some secondary school cheer, dude.

The Shop N Save advertisement is painful to even recall.

OH. MY. GOD.

Shawn(now 14) has broken his voice.

And in this new campus superstar, there is ANOTHER guy called Jarod Lee(now 13). This guy sings damn well too!

What's best, Shawn and Jarod are gonna sing together!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_xfwBR3Lk0&feature=related

My goodness.

Random:

Here's what you get when you google-translate the chorus for Britney Spears' "Womanizer":

Womanizer ，女性womanizer ，你是一个womanizer
噢， womanizer ，哦，你是一个womanizer婴儿
你，你，你，你，你，你是
Womanizer ， womanizer ， womanizer
（ Womanizer ）

男孩不要前端
一只是我知道，只要你是什么，是
男孩不要前端
一只是我知道，只要你是什么，是

(男孩不要前端? What the heck?)

Actually, we don't know whether the guy she's talking about is really a womanizer. But she asserts her claim so confidently with such great frequency, that if it's true that a lie repeated oft' becomes the truth, then that guy is almost certainly a womanizer. Especially since this song is played like EVERYWHERE almost ALL THE TIME.

Random made-up conversations/monologues.
_____________

"My favourite music goes like this: 'Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit...'"

"Do you mean 'Ride of the Valkyries' by Wagner?"

"Oh is it? *youtube* Ahh yes!"
_____________

"Guys, I know that you don't like Chinese very much. I didn't like Chinese either when I was in sec 4. But now, I regret the fact that I didn't work hard enough for Chinese back then.

Have you seen the New Moon Chicken Essence advertisements? I've heard that they pay a thousand plus bucks to those who appear on their advertisements. Think about it! A thousand plus bucks! You can get yourself a pretty decent computer with it.

Well, I could have been one of them, except that I didn't get A1 for Chinese. Damn. If only... back then... sigh... then I'LL be the one who is proudly holding up the can of New Moon Chicken Essence for all to see, and I'LL be a thousand bucks richer in the process. If only...

So you see, an A1 for Chinese isn't exactly useless. In the case that you get A's for everything else for your A levels, you'll be an additional thousand plus bucks richer! Now, I hope that while you are contemplating giving up on Chinese, think about the thousand bucks! Man, that's a spanking new PC or even laptop! And you'll be the ubiquitous dude holding up the New Moon Chicken Essence with the wide grin across your face telling the whole of Singapore that you are some smart guy, and perhaps, just perhaps, while you are on the MRT doing your uni apps on your brand new Laptop, a little kid would squeal at his mom, "MA, isn't that the gor gor / jie jie who drinks New Moon Chicken Essence and scored the highest for A levels?" And everyone in the carriage turns around to look at you! What a Crowning Moment of Awesome that would be!

BUT! If you don't get an A1 for Chinese, that would never happen.

So, I hope that y'all would be inspired enough to study hard for your Chinese O levels! Wish you good luck!"

A short discussion on Biogenesis

X: I can't believe that anyone would still not believe in evolution!

Z: Well, D is one. Go ask him why.

X: D, you don't believe in evolution? Why?

D: I just find the concept of natural selection really quite hard to believe.

*X and Z proceeds to explain natural selection*

D: Okay, but still, it is a process that theoretically takes millions and millions of years! How can scientists be so sure that the universe has existed for this long? Why can we assume that physical laws that hold true now holds true in the past as well, enabling us to extrapolate our methods into the past?

*Critical Hit*

Personal commentary: From my point of view, I haven't been convinced by D, because I have learnt many physical laws, all of which I implicitly assume are independent of the age of the universe. It would be much harder for me than for D to accept that the universe is much younger than it appears to be. However, I do not know why scientists think that the universe is billions of years old. It had just been a habit to accept the word of scientists and deny all that is contrary to it.

Yet the rigour of science is based on the scientific method, and the scientific method cannot tell us if the universe had physical laws so different in the past that we have been misled from its actual age. However, the scientific method can test many other laws that explain other phenomena, along with the assumptions that make these laws work. While these assumptions may not be the absolutely correct one (since there is always the possibility of there existing an unknown variable in a law), it seems reasonable to assume that we can extend these assumptions to untestable circumstances.

Why so? Well, it is hard to say what is "reasonable". Induction is reasonable on daily life, even if we don't know we are applying it. For example, if a drink stall has served you good coffee twice, it seems reasonable to expect that it would serve you good coffee the third time. In this case, applying similar assumptions to all other physical laws is just using induction on a bigger scale.

From the opposing point of view, however, science has only tested its laws for a particular period of time, and thus has only a very small number of data points regarding how the physical laws are affected by the age of the universe. As such, science still cannot reasonably extrapolate that that physical laws that work now would have worked in the past.

We must concede that scientists are human as well. A coherent set of beliefs supported by a few "axioms" is a nice thing to have, and shaking the foundations of natural philosophy with some metaphysical "what if" is hardy worth the trouble.

"Mr Einstein, maybe E=mc²+Rjc³, just that R happens to be zero?"

A short discussion on free will

D: As a presbyterian, my belief is that God is all-knowing because He had created this world with a predetermined future. In a sense, you still have free will and control over your actions, it's just that the outcomes have been predetermined.

Z: No, that can't be free will. If it is predetermined, then it means that I am forced by God to do what he "knows" I'll do next.

X: But having someone know that you would do something doesn't mean that you have no choice. Suppose you have a very good friend who knows that you would always buy coffee when you are eating at this place. So when you goes to this place, your friend already knows that you would buy coffee. If it turns out that you do buy coffee, does that mean that you have no choice? No! It's just that your good friend happens to know your preferences very well. Perhaps God just happens to know your preferences better?

Z: But God is the one who determines my preferences, and that leaves me with no free will, as He has manipulated all our actions and intentions! (But free will is the ability to choose what you prefer, no?)

D: What is manipulation? Suppose a girl scout tries to sell you a box of cookies for 10 bucks. You refuse, but she asks if you would donate $2 instead. Is this manipulation?

Z: No.

D: What if I tell you that actually, the girl scout actually has no intention of selling the cookies; she knows that if she does this, the likelihood of getting a $2 donation is higher than if she hadn't tried selling you the cookies in the first place.

Z: Yes, then it is manipulation.

D: What if, actually, the girl scout didn't know about this phenomenon; she was just following instructions from her leader, who happened to know about this phenomenon?

Z: Well, then I've been manipulated by the leader, but not by the scout.

X: What if the leader isn't sure if it works? Suppose it works in some cities and doesn't work in some. Does whether it is considered as "manipulation" depend on which city you happen to be in?

"EOCC fall in now."

"When you are in geography class next time,

Pay close attention to the part when they mention the OX-BOW LAKE.

It is extremely important and you would be using this knowledge very often in future."

It is about time that I embarrass my future self again. Obviously I do not know better than to do otherwise. Yet.

Every few years, I get a feeling that I have always been wrong, and become embarrassed for what I have stood for. I would wonder, "Why did I say so much, or do so much, without further thinking?" Then proceed on to expound on my new-found world view. Revision of my world view would often coincide with a period of emo-ness. (As of yet, I am unclear of the casual relation.)

Nevertheless, I am still tempted to write down my beliefs, just to make some sense my thoughts.

In J1, I have formulated a philosophy that I still hold today. The self is a distinct and separate being at every point in time, and it makes sense for us to treat our past and future selves as other people whom you happen to understand quite well, but not completely.

Right before KI A levels, I came up with the idea that all our beliefs are based on transcendental arguments, combined with faith in one of the three ontologies (materialism, dualism, idealism) that form a coherent set of self-reinforcing beliefs.

During NS, I had some time to read a few books on psychology. Here are the few things I found particularly disturbing:

-People with very different brains(due to damage or otherwise) view the world very differently.
-People can be happy or unhappy despite their circumstances, and they may not be in control.
-People are born with different temperaments which are difficult to change.
-People may not be conscious of the way they make decisions.
-People act largely based on how they feel. How they feel is based on temperament and circumstances. While there may exist options that are more expedient, they are not equally accessible to people of different temperaments.
-People don't know what makes them happy, especially in the future.

Ok, they all seem rather obvious. They still leave some questions open.

-Can we ever justify our actions? Are principles merely personal preferences?
-To what extent should we pursue happiness?
-If altruism is a biological trait, does that mean that some people are inclined to be more altruistic than others? If good deeds do not make one feel good, is one right in not doing them?
-To what extent can, and should we tamper with our own psyche? Is unconscious influence on others a form of tact or is it outright manipulation?


A wizard has turned you into a whale.

Is this awesome? Y/N

I accidentally caught a glimpse of "Tuan2 Yuan2 Fan4" (Reunion Dinner) on TV, and I'm absolutely hooked on it! The plot and dialogue is like 100X more plausible and life-like than "Little Nonya" (Seriously, does yueniang haveany flaws, save the lack of superstrength and laser vision? Ah yes, she can't fly. Right.)

Yes, so I'll be piously glued to the TV everyday 9 pm to get my daily dose of YAYA! And yes, I shall dedicate the rest of this post to YAYA, 'cos she TOTALLY steals the show!!

Ok, so the character YAYA is a precocious primary two girl who gets high from using idioms and cheem vocabulary in daily banter("Did I just use another idiom? YES!!", and she insists on calling her mother "Mu3 Qing1" *shudder*. )What she says are obviously too mature for someone her age, which makes her really REALLY cool! Like, "Mother(yes, she said mu qing), have you cooled down? Once you have done so, allow me to analyse the situation for you. At the current stage, ...Blah..."

OH. MY. GOD.

Plus, the actor is very natural with her obviously-too-mature lines, and is ~~~~~~~shHOooOOOOOoooOO~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~cUUUUuuuUUUTTTTTTE~~~~~ showing her milk teeth and dimple whenver she grins! you just can't help but <33 a kid with a disarming grin --> *^_^* <--- and is, in my opinion, the MOST situationally aware character in the entire show!!!! (NOBODY deserves to miss the scene where she chased away the loan sharks. by herself. with just a notebook and pen and her wits. yes, she's just that awesome.

I really hopes that she gets more air time on the subsequent episodes. Sadly, the "star interaction" thingy at 3pm tomorrow for "Tuan Yuan Fan" doesn't include YAYA. :<

And so I met up with ziLin (now zi lin) today, and it is quite an interesting exchange. I learnt a bit about US politics and US culture, and a bit of psychology. I used to dabble a lot into philosophy because I thought we could find out a lot about ourselves through introspection, but now that I'm introduced to psychology, maybe philosophy isn't such a good avenue anymore.

Much like how science has taken the place of "natural philosophy", it seems like psychology taking the place of certain aspects of philosophy as well, such as philosophy of mind, aesthetics and ethics(though there is still the is-ought problem). It's like, the COOLEST part of philosophy, and you don't have to resort to lame assumptions like, "I'm sure we can all agree that nobody would think it is right to torture an innocent baby." or that "Nobody really thinks that Duchamp's fountain is beautiful right?" Yes, so psychology gives you answers that you can do something about, and not depressing like stuff like "so what if happiness is just an illusion?"

And there are two videos related to what we talked about today.

Rubber hand illusion:-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCQbygjG0RU

Related, this is quite funny:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsT-KZpkgrw


Not so related, having a frightening/thrilling experience next to a potential mate gives the illusion of greater attractiveness of the other party. Could that be why James Bonds gets to shag so much?