I was undisciplined. But things have to change.

Since I left primary school, life has only gotten better for me. Academic success was of utmost priority, and while I wouldn't say it was a breeze for me, I did enjoy studying. My grades were not something to be ashamed of, so my parents gave me a great deal of autonomy. I chose to spend time studying what I liked (and attending Judo training, which I admit I didn't like that much). For many parents, it seemed like a good thing. They often told my parents they wished that their kids would study, and my parents were proud of me for that. The education system forced everyone to go through the same thing, and I felt really fortunate that I actually enjoyed it. Left to my own devices, I would learn what is required of the syllabus and more. It required no discipline on my part.

There was little pressure to do anything I didn't really like. I didn't really like to go out and watch movies. I didn't really like to play LAN. I didn't really like to hang out at shopping malls. I didn't like to talk to new people. I suspect that people were doing many other things that I didn't like to do, and of course I didn't have to do them either. Afterall, these are the things that parents don't usually want their children to do.

But those were normal social activities. "Normal" people want to play and don't want to study. For "normal" people, social skills are not much of a problem, since they acquire it while they do what they like, which is to play. As such, nobody gave any pressure to anyone to attain social skills. Academic grades, however, need to be worked at. A combination of external pressure and self-discipline would be required to produce results, because they don't normally like to do it.

Due to lack of external pressure, I didn't notice that I lacked social skills until Sec 4, when a fellow Judoka sat with me as I was eating at S11. I recalled from previous experience that Alex Ang would usually order drinks for everyone at the table in a situation like this. It felt really unnatural ordering drinks for someone else for the first time. After I had finished my food, I wiped my mouth with tissue paper, then offered the fellow Judoka tissue paper, even though he had not finished his food yet. I felt so stupid then.

Since then, a few occasions made my lack of social skills glaringly apparent to myself. CCAL camp was the biggest shock to me. (And at that point in time when I was so emotionally vulnerable, Wang Rui gave me a donut! I don't think I'll ever forget that.) But still, after emo-ing a while, I would be back to myself.

It ought to be apparent that if I were put into a situation where social skills mattered more than academics, then I should be developed more evenly, just like what a "normal" person usually experiences in school.

Amazingly, that's exactly what happened. Just like how social skills seemed to be secondary to academics in school, it turns out to be the exact opposite in National Service. I admit that I didn't learnt that as a trainee, since I was still not disciplined enough to force myself to learn social skills. But being appointed as the secretary for Army Open House meant that I had to call up many people, and occasionally asking people for information. Only then did I realise the importance of networking: things really get done more easily if you know someone in that business, firstly because there is less apprehension in making the call, and secondly because the other guy is less hesitant about giving you useful information.

Knowing the importance of networking, rather than the usual "oh no I suck", has so far been a greater motivation for learning social skills. And the usual sense of "having fun", it seems, is a pretty good way to learn. "Having fun" is tiring, but just as one would study harder as the exams draw near, I must have more "fun" as I sense the upcoming test of social skills as enrolment looms near. It's not that near, you say? Well, I'm quite a slow learner, actually.