Random thoughts.

Hindsight bias: "I knew I loved you before I met you."

And the perfect retort: "Don't say you love me, you don't even know me."

Ok old joke.

The weather, in my opinion, has been PERFECT recently. Sunny and Windy at the same time! Sunlight supposedly has an anti-depression effect, and being able to keep cool in the blazing sun is just wonderful. Maybe it is the effect of PSLE Science on me, but it always reminds me that it's a good day to take out the laundry (despite the fact that I don't do housework).

If you are feeling random, click here.

I've discovered the ultimate IM act-cute expression:

squee~ *dies*

I wonder if people with Prosopagnosia(inablility to recognize faces) can judge beauty. Could they be the "disinterested observers" that Kant seek?

Angst ahead. Be forewarned.
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I don't want to be a bad person. I try not to appear like one. But I could just end up not appearing like a bad person. I still have bad thoughts, and bad thoughts are punished by bad feelings.

Why do I deserve bad feelings? I have tried hard to be good. But it seems like there is more to being a good person than acting like one. Good people have good thoughts, that's why they behave well, right?

I have bad thoughts, and I am punished by bad feelings, but I have tried to be good!

Why do good people deserve to feel good? They are born this way. It so happens that good thoughts are what they think. They become good people, and they feel good. Not fair! I want to be a good person too! I want to have good thoughts like a good person, so that I don't need to try hard act like a good person, and still be good. I want to be a self that is good.

But changing the self is as foreign a concept as death. It seems like it is impossible to become a good person with good thoughts, since I am already a bad person with bad thoughts. Whether I act like a good person or a bad person, I will still be punished by my bad thoughts. Why do I still act like a good person, then?

Because doing bad things will make me feel even worse than thinking bad things. If I act like a good person, I will only be punished by bad feelings due to bad thoughts; if I act like a bad person, I would be punished for both my bad thoughts and bad action.

I don't feel good even if I act like a good person, because I don't have good thoughts like they do. But at least I don't feel worse than I currently do. Maybe if I do more good, they become a habit, then I don't have to listen to be bad thoughts and be punished by them so much.

I don't know who are the good people. But if I meet one, I won't know if he or she is a good person or not. His or her good intentions and thoughts will surely be doubted by my bad, cynical self. And my bad thoughts and actions will surely be interpreted as those having good purposes and good intentions.

In my world, I can't find good people. In their world, they can't find bad people. I am a bad person, and I feel sad for other bad people, because they are punished for their bad thoughts, and I don't think it's their fault. The good people, on the other hand, are glad that everyone is good, because they are rewarded for having good thoughts, and they don't have to work for it.

I want to be a good person. But I don't know how.
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