Wait, what?

2011-12-18T07:27:00.000+08:00

This is the 500th post! I can't believe that this blog has survived so long. Unfortunately, nothing epic is going to happen here (Then again, 500 is only special because we have 2 hands, 5 fingers, and Indian merchants were smart). This is just a test for a web service called "IntenseDebate", which I think seems pretty cool. Really! Nothing much to see here.

2011-11-27T15:50:00.000+08:00

I do hope that overseas Singaporeans stop giving people the impression that Singapore is a dictatorship/totalitarian/authoritarian/despotic state.

What prompted me to write this post is that some of my schoolmates from USA thought that Singapore isn't a democracy - they were genuinely surprised to hear from me that Singapore holds elections at all. When I asked them, "What gave you the impression that Singapore is not a democracy?" The response: "Even the other Singaporeans whom I've talked to don't seem to think that Singapore is a democracy."

I find it rather curious why some people from the US get the impression from Singaporeans that Singapore is some sort of an outright dictatorship. It is a matter of fact that Singapore is a democracy. Leaders are chosen by elections. Leaders are accountable to the people. Citizens have civil rights. What is left as a matter of opinion is the extent to which the above three are true, and whether that means that Singapore is "truly" a democracy.

I cannot generalize this to all overseas Singaporeans, of course, but from the ~5 Singaporeans whom I have encountered describing Singapore to Americans, I get the impression that they tend to be too eager to state why Singapore is not "truly" a democracy, but forget to mention that Singapore is a democracy in the first place. While another Singaporean will understand that Singapore isn't run by Mussolini/Hilter/Mao, someone who hasn't heard much about Singapore might have a different idea in mind when one says, "Well, we don't exactly have free speech, we are known for really strict laws, and the ruling party has been ruling since independence."

Why do we (the ~5 people we have met and admittedly, myself initially) so spontaneously speak of how Singapore isn't "exactly" a democracy before we even state that it is one? My guess is that Singaporeans are used to talking about Singapore-style democracy in the context where they are arguing about the finer points with other Singaporeans, who are well aware of and are used to all the rights that they have in Singapore. The largely pro-government mainstream media wouldn't hesitate to remind us that the government is accountable to the people. The rulers wouldn't hesitate to remind us that they are, after all, chosen by the people fair and square. The truth is not entirely that. Given these information as the basis to agree upon or to critique, New media and coffee-shop talks balance out the dominant influences of public opinion with a primarily anti-government stance to arrive at something that is more accurate.

The effect of this context of pro-government media is that when discussing Singapore politics, a Singaporean subconsciously assumes that the listener already knows some big things about Singapore. We are already used to doing all kinds of things with few state-enforced consequences, the things that we cannot do without consequences are particularly salient. We pretty much take our rights for granted. As such, we are used to talking about the rights we don't have and how elections aren't exactly fair, rather than the rights we do have.

This works fine in Singapore, because everyone lives here and has some intuitive idea of how "oppressed" we are. But when someone who is used to thinking of and talking about Singapore politics this way will be misleading to people who haven't heard much of Singapore. Without the preconception of all the things you can do in Singapore, it gives a rather negative and inaccurate impression.

I cannot prescribe what one should say to others about Singapore. After all, what I say is also mostly my own opinions. But I do hope that when Singaporeans talk to other people about Singapore politics, do consider that people might assume the worst if you only state what is not good.

PS: Another observation is that Malaysians tend to give a more positive portrayal of Singapore than Singaporeans themselves do. Maybe we can learn from them to produce a more balanced "pitch" about Singapore politics.

2011-09-10T20:13:00.000+08:00

Are exclamation marks outdated? CAPS LOCK IS QUITE GOOD AT GIVING THE IMPRESSION OF SHOUTING. In fact, from the first word of the 'capped' sentence that you read, you would already know that there is some shouting going in, whereas if you were reading a sentence that ends with an exclamation mark, you would have no idea that the sentence was meant to be emphasized, leading to only the last couple of marks "sounding louder" in your inner voice!

2011-08-30T20:14:00.000+08:00

Five minutes

Can I summarize each course that I took last year in about five minutes? Let's see.

Classical Mechanics:
- Principle of Least Action is equivalent to Newton's Laws.
- Principle of Least Action goes like this: there is a quantity called "Action", which is a function of a trajectory(real or hypothetical). Only trajectories with an extremum action are physically possible.
- If you have N degrees of freedom, you can use this principle to write N equations of motion. Just plug the Lagrangian into Euler's equation.
- If there are constraint forces, find an excuse to put the constraint into the Langrangian (by adding "zero" times a Langrange multiplier). The magnitude of the Lagrange multiplier give you an idea of how "strong" the constraint force is.
- You can rewrite the Lagrangian in another form. Applying the Legendre transform gives the Hamiltonian. The point of doing this is to make it easier to express equations of motion in terms of momentum. You also get first order differential equations instead of second order ones. (Doesn't make it easier to solve though, since they are typically coupled for non-trivial cases)
- Noether's theorem - the coolest thing of all. "Every symmetry has a corresponding conservation law." It sounds like something that came out of Dao De Jing (ok maybe not that much). E.g., if shifting your setup in the x-direction isn't going to affect its motion, then this means that x-momentum is conserved. So this theorem links every displacement with some kind of momentum. BUT! The weirdest thing is, time is associated with Energy! Really interesting, and this will become significant later.
- Central force motion and Scattering. Some mathematical tricks, many useful formulae that you probably shouldn't try to derive by yourself during a midterm. Landau is brilliant, read each page many times.
- Oscillations with driving forces, damping forces and coupling. Driving forces - use Fourier transformation for periodic driving forces, use Green's function for the general case, Laplace transform works well too. Damping forces - memorize/refer to solutions of this kind of second order ODE, and be comfortable with complex exponents, trig functions and hyperbolic trig functions. Coupling - make small oscillation approximations, dump it into a matrix and solve the eigenvalue/eigenfunction problem. Maple/Mathematica is your friend. If coupling is weak, approximate generously.
- Non-intertial frames and rigid body motion. Nightmare fuel. Remember Euler's equations, remember how to use them. Developing an intuition, while not wholly rigorous, helps to prevent sign errors and saves time. There's also a magical equation, "d/dt|_inertial = d/dt|_body - omega cross", which nobody seems to know how to derive but somehow works marvelously well.
- Special relativity. The relativistic Lagrangian is -gamma mc^2. You can obtain it by doing a Legendre transform on total relativistic energy. All the above tricks apply, except that rigid bodies aren't so rigid anymore.

Multivariable Calc:
- Langrage multipliers are cool.
- The Hessian determinant is useful for checking whether a stationary point is max, min, saddle, or degenerate. Take note of boundary points.
- The Jacobian determinant is useful for doing multiple integrals. It's important to set the integral up properly.
- Line integrals - find a new parameter to describe the line, and integrate along it. Remember to take the dot product.
- Surface integrals - find two parameters to describe the surface, and integrate along them. Remember to take the cross product. Be careful with the orientation, or use intuition to check the answer and reverse-engineer the sign.
- Curl of grad is zero, div of curl is zero.
- There are three different manifestations of the "fundamental theorem of calculus" - a relationship between differentiation and integration. 1) If the vector field has zero curl, it's possible to express it as a grad of some scalar field. It's the relationship between gradient and line integral. 2) Divergence theorem expresses the relationship between divergence and volume integral. 3) Stokes' theorem expresses the relationship between curl and surface integral.

Social Psych:
- There are different ways of doing social psych research - typically analyzing data and doing experiments. There are advantages and limitations to all approaches. Note experimental biases, cultural differences, observer effects. Studies may be value-laden. They might also be conducted in unethical ways. Most studies quoted in this course are done in the US, so what is true there might not be true elsewhere.
- The "self" is a more fluid construct with East Asians than it is with Americans - i.e., different situations, different "self".
- Many biases - "Better than average" phenomenon is one of them. Tendency to warp perception/interpretation of reality to make oneself feel better.
- Situational influence -> Mechanism --> Phenomenon --> Effect. Two common mechanisms are arousal and rationalization.
- Attitudes influence behaviour, but behaviour can also influence attitudes. Some powerful persuasion techniques make use of this.
- Persuasion could take central route or peripheral route. Which route works better depends on a number of factors.
- Conformity and Obedience - [Asch, Milgram expt] Most people can be made to conform under the right circumstances (though there is always some who don't conform). A few factors that affect the degree of conformity/obedience have been found.
- Attraction - people are typically more attracted to those they meet more often and that they are more similar to.
- People form groups quite easily, and tend to bias against the outgroup.
- Stereotypes influence people's perceptions unconsciously but significantly. Approaches have been found to reduce this.

General computer science(Java)
A bit of the following:
- Elementary types and operations, Arrays, If else, loops, methods and arguments, recursion, classes and objects, scope and encapsulation, using data types, creating data types, linked lists, using interfaces, order of growth(time/resources), insertion sort vs mergesort, computability, tractability, P versus NP.

Writing seminar
- UNCLEAR THESIS/MOTIVE WILL BREAK AN ESSAY
- Read the source before critiquing it (instead of referring to someone else's critique)
- There are ways to twist a quotation to suit your purpose.
- Sometimes there's just no correct answer.
- Good stitching helps to make a essay more "flowy", which is good.

(To be continued)

2011-04-18T05:59:00.000+08:00

I am not a Christian. But out of curiosity, I have taken a class on the new testament this semester. Since it was a class that focuses on historical analysis, a recurring theme was how problematic the pieces that make up the new testament are as historical sources. The analysis treated the gospels as documents written by people for certain purposes, and not necessarily as faithful depictions of past events. This view leads biblical scholars to make some surprising conclusions - their dominant view now is that the gospel according to Matthew is a document that champions a Jewish sectarian movement led by Jesus. The thing, though, is that historical analysis is not what Christians do all the time when they read the bible. One biblical scholar even said that based on their methodology of historical analysis, they are not allowed to treat the resurrection of Jesus as a historical event - all they can say is that followers of the Jesus movement from around 30 CE onwards strongly believed that it happened. The "rules of the game" do not allow them to treat accounts of miracles as fact. Christians in this class are forced to read and think about the new testament in a new way.

While the methodologies prescribed by historical analysis allow for an atheistic explanation of why the text in new testament is the way it is, it gives the impression that Christians are believing in something that did not happen. So, a thing that I couldn't help but wonder is, "Do Christians really believe that these things happened? Why do so many people put their faith in something so unlikely to have happened?"

After discussing what I've "learnt" from my class with my preceptor, Peter (a classmate) and Daniel (Lo and Sim), it appears to me that Christians do not usually read the bible "to the letter" - in our class we scrutinize the differences between two different accounts of the same "event" and try to make sense of those differences in terms of the aims and biases of the different authors, but it seems to me this is not what Christians usually do when they read the bible. The Christians I have asked about this (four so far) get some recurring themes that pervade the bible, and apply it to their lives (kinda like the difference between pure math and engineering, I think). Also, assuming that the accounts in the bible really happened in the past does allow one to explain away some of its strangeness and apparent inconsistencies. What I got out of the discussion was that their faith does not lead them (i.e., these four people) to do things that I think are bad. I was glad that it was so, because I had always imagined some irreconcilable difference between Christians and atheists which would prevent us from have open discussions about important issues without evoking strong emotions.

Just yesterday, someone invited me to a Christian fellowship meeting. I sat through the prayers and songs and observed. They sang a couple of songs, and the songs made it very easy to join in. The melodies were catchy, the tunes were easy to sing and the lyrics had a lot of repetition. Nothing was really unexpected or remarkable, but there was nothing that made complete sense to me either, because they were mostly about the greatness of God/Jesus, which I wouldn't assume to be true. But what impressed me was the lecture given by the director (it was a non-denominational fellowship, so not everyone addressed him the same way, but the director had a title of "Reverend") - he taught about humility and appreciation of grace. These were things that I believed in, and I was glad that he was teaching things that would lead to behavior that I believe are good. At the same time, though, he also said that doing good should ultimately be for extending the grace of God (or something like that) instead of doing it to feel good about oneself. I didn't agree with him on that, so I went to look for him at the end of the meeting.

(Note to reader: the following account would appear biased against him, because I only remembered the most surprising things he said, and even those things I did not remember very clearly. In the actual conversation, he sounded a lot more confident. But I pretty much stopped listening whenever he started talking about God, so what he said would appear a lot more fragmentary.)

I asked him, "Do you think that there are right and wrong reasons for good behavior?" He said something which I interpreted as meaning that the only right reason for good behavior is extending the effect of the grace of God, which triumphs even doing good for the benefit of society, or a sense of good that comes from within. I questioned him on that. He said that while doing good for the benefit for society is a reason, it is not a sufficient condition for being righteous with God. So I asked, "Would you make a distinction between a Christian and a non-believer who do the same things?" He said that he would not be able to make a distinction, but God's judgment would make a distinction between believers and non-believers (which also include Christians who do not really believe), and non-believers would be sent to a place called hell ("which is a real place", he assured me) devoid of God's grace.

I was slightly disappointed at how someone who taught the good things he taught just a moment ago would also believe in such strange things. So I offered my point of view. I told him that I do not agree with him that righteousness can only be found through God. In fact, the concept of righteousness would have existed even before the bible, and if there were some book that advocated a concept of righteousness radically different from people's internal sense of right and wrong, it could not have been as pervasive as the bible today, and therefore, in an indirect way, the bible's concept of righteousness was selected based on people's internal sense of right and wrong.

Then he asked, "And how is that working out for you?" I was stumped. For the previous hour, I was observing a practice based on a somewhat coherent world view, with a venue for people to find emotional support at a time when they needed it the most. I watched it as a spectator, as the stereotypically smug "anthropologist visiting a tribe" observing a case study in social psychology for what people can believe when they are placed in large groups. I saw they had an answer that I believed was wrong. But I hadn't realized that I didn't have a clear answer myself.

He threw in a few more questions, "What is your world view?" I stammered my way through a couple of concepts that I used to think about when I was more melancholic - materialism, utilitarianism and some pop psychology (which led me right into the problem of consciousness). "So your world view is incoherence?" After some struggle, I was greatly troubled and I said that I don't know. "What would it take for you to believe that there is a god?" Someone had asked me this question before, and it was a hard question, because the lack of an answer would indicate that I am not as open-minded as I would like myself to be. It is still a hard question. I didn't answer. "Do you believe that anything controls something?" This was related to the problem of consciousness as well, so I didn't have a good answer. "Why do you think that across cultures, humans seek to worship something?" No good answer. Then he told me that it's okay not to have an answer, since many people are looking for an answer as well. He also advised me to come back again and ask more questions.

Shaken by the tough questions, I walked out and met two people I knew, and we started discussing about our world view. It turns out, that the mind-body problem is a hard problem for them. One of them was a recent convert, and he understood how out-of-place I felt being there, with all the songs and prayers and people who believed strongly in something I didn't. But at the same time, it seemed like such a nice and friendly environment where I can talk about the things that I might not be as inclined to talk about over a meal. At the same time, seeing how open seven out of the seven Christians I chose to talk to were, I felt free to argue against a Christian world view. It was a shaking yet interesting experience.

I was weak last night because I was not prepared to answer such hard questions. But now, I offer my defense.

Someone has once asked me, "How can you possibly believe in the Big Bang?" I did not have a good answer then, but my answer now is, I don't believe in the Big Bang the same way Christians believe that God created everything. My confidence in my belief of the Big Bang theory does not come from my own observation, models, and reasoning, but the confidence in scientists who came up with it. I have not worked through the data and math myself, so I would quite happy to discard this belief if many scientists were to tell me otherwise. I would also be happy to flip back to believing in Big Bang theory if it more scientists were to later proclaim the Big Bang theory to be superior. I do not have the time/expertise/interest to verify everything personally, so I take their word for it. Now I would say to him, "What would it take, then, for you to stop believing in God?"

There isn't any coherent world view that can account for everything with certainty, because once we invoke Descartes' dream/brain in a vat/malicious demon argument against it, we would need to somehow account for the existence of everything except our own consciousness. This means that if we only allow for things that people are certain of, any conscious being would have lots of gaps in their world view. As far as I am aware of, there are two ways to fix this: one is to take a leap of faith and fill in the gaps where necessary. Another way, which I prefer, is to take in any information, but tag on to each piece of information my confidence in it being true. Ideally, I would allow any of my beliefs to be questioned and changed. Rather than taking a leap of faith which adds new unquestionable beliefs, my gaps of uncertainty are instead filled with multiple beliefs with varying degrees of confidence, and if someone asks me what I believe, I would tell them the one that I am most confident of being true. Admittedly, I do not do this all the time - the sleeper effect makes this difficult to maintain, but a guard against this would be to be skeptical of a belief unless I can recall the source and see that it is reliable.

I am not only skeptical against believing in God, I am also skeptical of any belief that requires me not to doubt it. Suppose I take everything that belief in a Christian God entails and replace it with something else, but keep the belief that you MUST believe it or else bad things happen to you, I would still end up with another coherent world view, because I can discard everything that is inconsistent with it. With this formula, I can conveniently replace the stuff in Christianity that make Christians do things that we universally acknowledge to be good with stuff that make people do bad things, and end up with a coherent world view that make its believers do bad things. Suppose I am required to ignore my internal moral compass in my judgment of which one to believe in - the Christian God or the bad God, I would not be able to choose.

I think that the saving grace in the world is mankind's internal moral compass - people prefer not to believe in things that make them do evil, even if they are not allowed to question it, and that is why people who choose to believe in a God that advocates good behavior. On the other hand, telling people not to doubt something allows one to construct a coherent world view that contains anything. Hence, while I do not like the idea of not having a coherent world view, I cannot bring myself to adopt a world view that does not allow me to question. And I would say, my world view is incoherent, I am unsure, and I do not have answers, but that's okay for me.

2010-12-22T05:32:00.000+08:00

omg blogger I miss you so. It's brings back memories of the periods of time when I had so much free time to come up with stuff.

It is so hard to write stuff well, I realize. Especially regarding things that actually matter, because so much of the time, what could be said has already been said. I think even if my writing seminar didn't teach me how to write well, it has taught me intellectual humility. There are many good ideas out there, and even if an idea sounds silly initially, research can often show otherwise.

My first essay pretty much went along the lines of "why is everyone talking about these irrelevant stuff?" I thought that it didn't take much to show that something is wrong or irrelevant. The problem though, was that I was doing an essay on ethics, and there isn't a set of fundamental principles that everyone can agree on. Is ethics based on rights and duties? Intuition? Minimizing suffering? I was lucky in KI in that I never really had to deal with ethics very much, because I could simply choose another essay. But here, it was three big assignments about ethics, so I had to deal with them somehow.

Coming up with something meaningful, interesting AND original is not simple, because so many other people are writing about meaningful and original stuff. There's so much research that needs to be done beforehand. Even then, it's often the case that I'll find people who disagree with my position, and it's so damned hard to show that he/she is wrong and I am right. There are so many ways to show how one thing is ethically sound and so many ways to show that it is not.

So this writing sem was one long route march out of my comfort zone, and I'm so glad I'm finally done with it. I may not have learn how to write, but I think I've learnt the importance of reading up beforehand. It's probably below what the university expects of me as I complete this course, but I'm glad that I took something away from it.

2010-12-01T13:40:00.000+08:00

Random thought:

Military wedding vow:

I [NRIC] [RANK] [NAME], take you [NRIC] [RANK] [NAME], to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish WITH MY LIFE.

2010-10-18T09:53:00.002+08:00

Random thoughts:

Woman jane = new Woman(32, 28, 33);
jane.makeSandwich();

My observation (which may be inaccurate) is that Singaporeans speak Singlish as a faster rate than native English-speakers speak English. I suspect that the tones on the words in Singlish act as an error correcting code that allows mumbled consonants to be deciphered. This error correcting code allows a high rate of low fidelity information to be transmitted and comprehended.

Heard:

"If I go to heaven, what I'll be most worried about is that I see God and he sneezes. Then what do I say? 'Bless yourself?'"

2010-09-25T02:37:00.000+08:00

I'm pleasantly surprised to find that there are more people who can pronounce my name right the first time than it had originally thought. (They just can't remember it though.) Before I left for the US, people were telling me that I need an easier name to go by. So, for the first week or so I switched between "Xin Yang" and "Yak", then eventually settled at "Yak". I figured that although I'll prefer to have people call me Xin Yang to Yak, being called Yak is still preferable to people not knowing or remembering my name.

Interestingly, some people insist on calling me by my "actual name". The first time that happened, I wondered if it was necessary for me to "simplify" my name at all. But I guess it's just some people who are better with names. Now when people ask my name, I'll go "My name is Xin Yang, but you can call me Yak." This gives them the option of using the "easier" name, while not implicitly doubting the person's ability to remember or pronounce my actual name.

The first time I introduced myself that way, I was suddenly reminded of the time when the grad student at NUS introduced himself to me as "My name is _____(which I can't remember), but you can me Dood." It reminded me of the first time I cut vegetables and hand to transfer them to a bowl. The first few attempts always led to some vegetables falling out of the bowl. Finally, I figured the best way to do this was to cup my hand over the cut vegetables, slide the knife under it, hover the hand and knife over the bowl, then withdraw the knife at an angle. It was only after doing that a few times that I realised that it was the same way that my mother or the people on cooking shows would transfer the cut vegetables from the chopping board to a bowl using the knife. Somehow, through different experiences, we just arrive at the same answer, because it is probably the best one there is.

Perhaps that's why adults all seem to behave in a certain way that makes them different from teens or children.

2010-08-07T20:42:00.000+08:00

临时抱佛脚。

2010-08-05T19:28:00.000+08:00

If you weigh something to find the weight, do you heigh something to find the height?

When you read the above sentence, in your inner dialogue, does "heigh" rhyme with "weigh" or does it rhyme with "why"?

2010-08-04T16:30:00.000+08:00

Random thoughts:

If the person who is paid by a "payer" is called a "payee", a person who is tutored by a "tutor" is called a "tutee", is the dough baked by a "baker" called a "bakee"? The cigarette smoked by a "smoker" called a "smokee"?

Though I guess there isn't much point to give them names like that, since the terms like "payee" and "tutee" is meant to indicate to people (who already have a lot of other roles) what roles they are currently assuming, whereas a cigarette is usually assuming the role of being smoked and a lump of dough is usually assuming the role of being baked. So "cigarette" and "dough" are probably sort-of equivalent to "smokee" and "bakee".

Some literature has said that quantum entanglement is a resource, but I think it's kinda iffy. Unlike energy, there isn't a one-size-fits-all method to quantify it. I remember Prof Kwek was looking for a lay-man's analogy to measures of quantum entanglement - how there are so many different definitions, how the usefulness of each definition depends on the application the quantum states are associated with, and how different definitions may not agree with with other about whether one state is more entangled than another. Yet, measures of quantum entanglement are also not completely arbitrary, because there are some quantum states that are generally agreed upon to be maximally entangled and some that are completely un-entangled, which most (I dare not say all since I don't know all of them) measures of entanglement would indicate.

His first analogy was happiness, but he felt that it was too un-physical and imprecise. His second analogy was entropy (for example, Renyi entropy isn't just one single definition, but a definition that depends on some parameters, and these parameters depend on the application). I don't understand Renyi entropy at all, so I can't really appreciate whether his analogy was particularly apt. But now that I think about it, all the above characteristics remind me of measures of intelligence. There are various measures of intelligence, each of them useful for different purposes and different scales may not agree on whether one guy is more intelligent than another. But intelligence isn't completely arbitrary either, since there are some abilities that are generally recognised to be crucial indicators of intelligence, so surely a hypothetical person who gets a perfect score on a particular test item that tests this ability (maybe a what-pattern-comes-next test? I don't know) would be given high intelligence scores on most measures of intelligence (except maybe the more differentiated measures like the sub-scales of multiple intelligences).

Yay! So, next time someone asks me "what have you been doing for the past six months" I would have a nice reply. "I've been studying measures of quantum entanglement, which is somewhat iffy like measures of intelligence, but not quite."

What if Bell's inequality is tested in a way that the measurements are made in different inertial frames moving at relativistic speeds? Since simultaneity is relative, from one frame it would appear as though the measurement in say, Alice frame causes the wavefunction collapse and determines the quantum state that can be measured by Bob, while in Bob's frame it could appear otherwise. A simple way to reconcile this could be to state that that Alice would measure and what Bob would measure are both predetermined from the start, but Aha! this would cause the Bell's inequality to be satisfied even at Bell's test angles with maximally entangled states! Maybe there really isn't a problem with this scenario, but I'm kinda lazy to think about it now.

2010-08-03T13:05:00.001+08:00

Just wondering about the first two lines of 林俊杰's 曹操...

First line:
不是英雄, 不论三国

Since a conditional statement is equivalent to the converse of its inverse, it can therefore be rewritten as such:
P1: 论三国的都是英雄.

Second line:
若是英雄怎么能不懂寂寞

This is clearly a rhethorical question, which means:
P2: 英雄都是寂寞的.

We are thus forced to conclude that:
C: 论三国的都是寂寞的.

Just sayin'.

2010-07-26T21:36:00.000+08:00

Some reflections on my "work" at NUS, Centre for Quantum Technologies.

I hadn't realised it then, but coming up with something there is quite a difficult thing to do. I'm not sure if those people that my prof had previously recruited before they started uni had produced anything, but it is not a nice feeling to hang around at a place for five months without much idea of what's going in. I guess an analogy would be like being employed by a greek company in greece, with all the books(except maybe one) that teach greek also written in greek.

To be more specific, my journey started with my prof asking me to do the exercises in Griffith's Intro to QM (or as the taiwanese grad student would call it, the 猫书), and learning about Perez-Horodecki's criterion for separable states. Then he taught me about pure states and mixed states. One week later, I was given one 4 page paper, which supposedly requires me to understand a 90 page review paper on quantum entanglement before I could appreciate it. I got stuck on the fifth page, i.e, when the first mathematical equation appeared (the definition of a separable state). It was written in Dirac's notation and made use of the tensor product symbol. It was around that time when I started chapter 3 in the 猫书, where Dirac's notation was taught in one page. (I don't think I'm the only one who can't learn Dirac's notation explained in one page) But there wasn't any mention of tensor products, so I tried to learn about it on Wikipedia, which was a really bad idea, since I followed every link, hoping to be able to understand this one by following the next... but it somehow got into group theory and abstract algebra. Having learnt nothing about tensor products (except the fact that it's a bilinear map), I tried to see if it was related to tensors. I didn't manage to learn much about tensors. After two weeks of struggling with Dirac notation and the elusive tensor product, I asked my prof what a tensor product is, and he gave a really simple explanation. Lesson learnt: don't know, ask. Around this time, a teacher happened to ask me how I was doing, and he recommended me Susskin's lecture and Cohen-Tannouji's textbook, which were really helpful.

Around this time, my prof asked me to help him write some lecture notes for grad students, and I got really excited, cos it made it sound like I was very zai. I came up with the first set of lecture notes, but honestly, I don't think I really understood the material well enough to write notes about it, so my notes were quite crap. Perhaps his intention was to make me think hard about what I was learning. But a nice side effect was that I got introduced to LaTeX, which is NOT user friendly at all.

Just when I thought I could be helping those after me to learn about quantum information, I realised that Nielson and Chieng's textbook of quantum information was better than what I could ever write in the next few months, so the notes I wrote was quite redundant. Also, in the last week there, I realised that measures of quantum entanglement had to be associated with some application for it to have any physical meaning, and so far I had learnt nothing about the application. There have been a few instances when people asked me "can you explain in lay-man's terms what is it that you do?" and I couldn't. At the end of it, I didn't even understand half of that 90 page review paper. That sucks.

But oh well. At least I learnt some LaTeX and linear algebra. And I finally have some idea of what a matrix determinant is.

2010-05-17T19:55:00.000+08:00

令堂甚肥 - 具落雁之地心引力矣！

2010-05-09T00:45:00.002+08:00

2010-05-09T00:44:00.002+08:00

Once one proceeds from Descartes’ global scepticism, one either has to contend with solipsism, or presume that our sensory experience alludes to some underlying consistency in what really exists out there. I personally can find no rational justification to favour any particular ontological theory over another, but I have placed my faith in Materialism (as opposed to Dualism and Idealism) for its congruence with all my other beliefs.

It thus makes sense for me to induce that all events proceed either deterministically or probabilistically from their prior state. Given also that laws of nature do not change, there appears to be no way that one’s consciousness can have any influence in the outcome of things.

I used to think that belief in free will is a hindrance to true understanding of people, and that psychological egoism and utilitarianism combined would be superior to belief in free will in its potential explanatory power. But there are many problems with that approach – we don’t know the relevant coefficients, it requires too much tweaking of coefficients to work, scaling up to more than one person changes mathematical relationships dramatically, and it’s simply not practical because people are not good at calculations the way computers are (just like computers aren’t good at recognising human faces or associating emotions with facial expressions the way humans generally are).

So due to our biological-endowed strengths and weaknesses, our intuitions about ourselves and others based on free will are, for practical day-to-day purposes, the best things we have to understand ourselves and others (though sociologists are probably encouraged to use computers to simulate human behaviour). But recognising that free will is merely a heuristic that we are forced to employ due to our inabilities ought to make us more cautious about drawing conclusions from such intuitions and “off-set” them with science where necessary.

Thus, in our day-to-day interactions, it makes sense to talk about “self-restraint” and “conscientiousness”. It also makes sense to judge people as agents who know “right” from “wrong” and can choose as appropriate, and take responsibility for “their” actions. While it does get a bit grey when nature and nurture come into play, nobody really doubts the existence of a self that one has substantial control over under normal circumstances.

“Substantial control” is still not total control, though. Self-control seems to slip out when emotions rise, so control of emotions is important. I used to believe that I have been keeping my emotions under control, but now it seems to me that I just haven’t been feeling my own emotions strongly. Somehow, people realise that I am happy or angry or sad before I do. And upon reflection, it does seem that my facial expressions and body postures change to reflect my emotions outward before I am aware of it. Perhaps, I may even I have said and done things in an emotional state without myself realising it. Maybe I can overcome this by being more conscious of my facial expressions and body posture, infer my own emotional state, and thereby maintain greater control.

Control over thought seems to be more difficult, though(“Don’t think about a pink elephant”, for example). To me, studying involves looking at a piece of paper/website, and I either understand it or I don’t. Sometimes it takes longer, sometimes it happens instantly, sometimes it feels like it would never happen, but “I” have no control over it. As I walk along, thoughts just appear in the form of voices and sights and sounds (which I can thankfully distinguish from real sights and sounds). It might be possible for me, under the influence of a particular train of thought (caused by a certain book, for instance), to alter my environment that produces a certain way of thinking to attain a certain outcome (such as setting a goal, writing it down and displaying it at a prominent place). But still, that just makes my current self the outcome of a previous train of thought.

Streams of consciousness produce such erratic trains of thought, but perhaps it is only the self-enforcing ones that define a person. From my perception of other people’s intuition, people are supposed to be stable over time, that perhaps, there is a “self” to be found somewhere in consistent behaviour. But maybe this intuition is wrong.

It seems that stable and consistent thoughts and behaviours are created from trains of thought that lead to self-reinforcing thoughts and behaviour – and these sets of thoughts and behaviours become one’s identity. So, perhaps, personal identity is also merely a heuristic for “selves” to make sense of their own thoughts, behaviour, subjective perceptions and interpretations of their surroundings. Without a stable personal identity, it might not make sense for one to make promises or to set goals or to plan for the future.

I realise that my “time-slice” heuristic is only practical and consistent when combined with theories of stable personality traits (because otherwise whenever I try to plan something for my future, I wouldn’t have any way to tell if I might still want it in future). Then again, if I test my own personality to help me decide how to plan for my future, isn’t it just a train of thought that leads to self-reinforcing thoughts and behaviour, thereby leading to a “personal identity”? I’m not sure if I want a “personal identity” created this way – somehow it just doesn’t seem quite right.

2010-04-15T20:22:00.000+08:00

Oh gosh, I haven't blogged for so long throughout this eventful period. In case in future I do want to know what I've been doing so far, here goes:

- Performed salsa on stage for Jitterbugs Studio Recital as part of a student team. I was strangely calm on stage - more calm than I usually was during rehearsals, and as I performed I felt as though I wasn't there. It was the same feeling that I had during National Science Challenge. After that, I went to cafe iguana with the girls for a post-performance chill-out! They were gossiping about the instructors and the good-looking guys at the recital, and they didn't seem to mind my presence. Much of their info was obtained from facebook, and the nicknames they give to some of the guys are really amusing! Like, there seems to be this agreed-upon ranking of which guys are most good-looking, and since nobody knows the name of the number two guy(everyone was too shy to ask), he's code-named "second choice". Among themselves they really refer to him that way, like,

"Eh, I saw second choice on the MRT just now!"
"Really, where!"

And apparently there is also a mutually agreed-upon ranking for the girls among the girls too. Discussing and ranking of people according to looks seemed like something that girls would do in secondary school, but they are all around mid-twenties. I remember that even among the 07S06D guys there was an agreed-upon 四大美女 within the class, so hearing them gossip somewhat reminded me of the first 3 months in RJ.

- Learnt how to use the Dirac notation in quantum mechanics. Gosh. Now that I think back, what I've learnt in those three weeks isn't that hard after all! Why did it take me three weeks then? I suspect that treating quantum states as vectors is very unintuitive. And then there is still index notation and tensor product and unitary transformations before I can understand the second page of the 100 page primer to the 4 page primer to the research proper.... it reminds me of the time in sec 3 I asked Chandru about motion under air resistance. He wrote 10 lines of solution, pointed to the first 2 lines and said, "This is the Physics." Then he pointed to the next 8 lines and said, "And this is the Mathematics."

- Went to China. The driving is insane. Also, we went there as guests to a wedding, of whom the bride's family is from UK and the groom's family is from China, so being bilingual Singaporeans, we offered to help translate! Though towards the end, we felt a little under-appreciated.

- Applications. After getting rejected by so many unis and colleges, I felt a bit like I had to settle for NTU. When I went to check my status online, I was just thinking of getting over with with whole US apps thingy, so I was really really surprised to see the acceptance by Princeton. Even though I showed the page to my family and they were all really happy for me, it still felt a bit unreal then. Right then I wanted to share the good news with all my friends who have supported me in my application. But at the same time, I wondered if sharing the news would sound like showing off if they didn't get into the universities they wanted. So I only told a few people then. But, the other thing I hadn't expected was how sincere zi lin was when she congratulated me. It's definitely not that I thought that she was an insincere person, but it's the first time I've ever received congratulations that really made me feel that the other person was happy for me rather than something that you are expected to say in accordance to social norms. To me, those were the three best things that happened to me that day: Princeton acceptance, Princeton financial aid, and a sincere congratulation(s?).

2010-03-15T15:48:00.000+08:00

Oh man, the studio recital is coming up so soon... which means that rehearsals would be ending.

When I started out at the rehearsals, there seemed like so much to do; every weekend was occupied. But now that I'm getting more familiar with the dance routine (and that the music has been sped up substantially), six minutes of performance feels like such an awfully short time. And I suspect that after the performance, it would take me a while for me to get used to being free on weekends again. I think, what I'll miss most is the times I spent hanging out with Jake, Patricia and Aretha before and after lessons.

Somehow, I'm looking forward to the next rehearsal more than going to NUS. Weekends used to be something between weekdays; now it feels like the other way round.

2010-02-15T18:42:00.000+08:00

Ten years ago:

I would not have imagined myself in RI.

I would not have imagined myself representing RI.

I would not have imagined myself representing Singapore.

I would not have imagined myself firing a rifle grenade.

I would not have imagined myself being an army officer.

I would certainly not have imagined myself dancing salsa and doing hiprolls on the SCGS stage.

No, not even in my wildest dreams.

2010-02-11T19:56:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.

[Name] and the [Noun]

=>

Stephen Hawking and the Brief History of Time
Stephen Hawking and the Universe in a Nutshell
Stephen Hawking and the Shoulders of Giants
Aldous Huxley and the Brave New World
Oliver Sacks and the Man who Mistook his Wife for a Hat
Longman and the Dictionary
Lagemaat and the Theory of Knowledge
Richard Dawkins and the Selfish Gene
Richard Dawkins and the Blind Watchmaker
Richard Dawkins and the God Delusion
Steven Reiss and the Normal Personality
Malcolm Gladwell and the Outliers
Malcolm Gladwell and the Tipping Point
Karl Marx and the Communist Manifesto
Adam Smith and the Wealth of Nations
Nicolo Machiavelli and the Prince
Antoine de Saint-Exupery and the Little Prince
Plato and the Republic
John Milton and the Lost Paradise
Al Gore and the Inconvenient Truth
James Cameron and the Avatar

2010-02-11T13:20:00.001+08:00

After hearing Jiahuang's derivation of Boltzmann distribution from first principles of thermodynamics(btw, Jiahuang is in J1) recently, it struck me that utilitarianism might not be as useful as I had thought after all.

There are two interpretations of utilitarianism. One is that "We should always try to maximise total utility in a society." The other is that "Society can be understood in terms of maximisation of personal utility." I have felt that the first interpretation is pretty problematic, but I saw potential in the second interpretation.

One impetus for the second interpretation is that it readily allows us to apply the powerful tools used in physics and mathematics to understand society in a statistical way. After all, in a reaction chamber, whether an individual molecule would react or not is a very tricky business, but at a large scale and long time frame (reactions take place to moles of particles in femtoseconds), regular patterns are observed at the macro level (such as temperature and concentration). We do not need to understand quantum chemistry to study reaction kinetics at a macro level; so perhaps, you also do not need to fully consider the complexity of individuals to understand macro-level measurements (perhaps things like as inflation, population levels and Human Development Index?). In other words, are there social phenomena and measurements that are emergent from considering human interactions at a statistical level? (I believe this is similar to Durkheim's "social facts".)

Let us consider thermodynamics again. As Ricardo once said, "If you ask an atom what the temperature is, he wouldn't know. But he can tell you how much kinetic energy he has." Note that in a box of gas, temperature in Kelvin is equal to twice the average kinetic energy of molecules divided by the degrees of freedom and Boltzmann's constant. It is therefore not hard to imagine that some measurement that is fundamental to our understanding of society would appear pretty elusive and unintuitive to an individual. Also, you can't just take any statistical measurement of society and expect it to be fundamentally significant. If you worked with the average magnitude of the velocities in a box of gas, or their harmonic mean weighted, or their median, or their geometric mean, good luck trying to derive something meaningful - because you still haven't figured out that mass and degrees of freedom are important. While trial-and error might eventually work, you might want to note that the above amazing relationship between temperature and KE of gas particles was not obtained by trial-and-error; it was derived from Newton's Laws. And we are not even talking about humans, we are talking about gas particles - incompressible, completely elastic, infinitesimally small, with negligible attractions or repulsions, not there weren't that many factors to tweak anyway. But maybe! Just maybe, that elusive fundamentally meaningful property that arises from statistical measurements of society is looking right at us now. Can utility save the day?

Maybe. But problem is, you can't measure utility. That doesn't mean we should give up on it though - the guys in the white lab coats couldn't measure entropy either, but they didn't give up. If you understand entropy, you'd probably think that the discovery of entropy is incredibly awesome. Unfortunately, I don't understand entropy, so I can't share your joy. But entropy is very fundamental to thermodynamics. So fundamental that the thermodynamic viability of anything (yes, anything, even the collection of dust in your keyboard) is understood in terms of entropy. From what I've learnt in the first week of H1 econs, utility cannot be measured directly, but can be detected when exchanges occur. (It's kinda like temperature and heat, don'cha think?) Good, so we've got the zeroth law of Economics down. When are the next three laws coming? Ok, never mind, let's just assume that utility works like the negative of potential energy. That would neatly parallel the first law of thermodynamics.

A huge problem arises here. Potential energy only makes sense in conservative fields [i.e., there is no closed path which a particle can take in the field that would cause it keep gaining energy, or simply put, where energy is always conserved], and it only makes sense if there is also a social equivalent of a force, and a social equivalent of momentum, a social equivalent of kinetic energy, and social equivalent of displacement etc. In other words, you need the social equivalent of Newton's laws. Unfortunately it either doesn't exist or hasn't been discovered.

Also, even if we assume that the social equivalent of Newton's laws exist, utility is clearly not a conservative field - it is supposed to increase with every exchange. It is also not strictly increasing either, because while we are guaranteed that total utility increases at the point of exchange (I guess that's why people like shopping so much?), utility can increase or decrease by a great deal in between exchanges. Since we spend more time working or consuming goods than making transactions, it is reasonable for us to suspect that the utility changes between transactions would be significant enough to off-set the utility gain from transaction.

Then there is the oft-stated argument of human irrationality, which I would not repeat here. There is this counter-argument from my econs teacher: "Some people would buy more than it is rational while some people will buy less than it is rational, so overall their effects would cancel out, and this assumption still works at a statistical level." But Dan Ariely says something like, "No, even statistically speaking, humans are irrational in predictable ways." "In fact, we have some idea of how to make them behave in a certain way without them realising it," Thaler and Sunstein might (probably) add. Given commercial interest in making people irrationally profligate at a statistical scale (by advertising and market research), I have serious doubts that this assumption is in any way justified.

Lastly, is there a sufficiently large number of events at a sufficiently long time scale for us to suppose that perturbations from anomalous probability distributions, unstable equilibriums and random events have negligible effects on society? Even physical systems with well defined characteristics can behave in a chaotic manner - what more humans who are hosts to memes? - memes that are struggling to survive and propagate with our minds and technology as their mediums, which evolve at human time-scales as well. And that is a huge destabilising factor not present anywhere else. This means that there is no convenient analogy to human society that we can just adapt and use.

Oh no. I guess utility isn't that fundamentally meaningful property that arises from statistical measurements of society that we are looking for then. How now brown cow.

2010-02-11T11:00:00.000+08:00

The Beautiful Country.
The Chivalrous Country.
The Lawful Country.
The Virtuous Country.
The Peaceful Country.
The Mysterious Continent.
The Central Country.
The Freezing Country. (I know)
Sun-based.
Across the South.

Any more interesting ones?

2010-02-06T23:25:00.000+08:00

While I'm still in a good mood, I should send a message to my future self. Which might just turn out to be significant. Or serve as an important element to a plot. Or become a Deus ex Machina in a lousy story. Or whatever.

_________

Hi there. Everything's looking pretty fine here. I'm not sure what you're going through right now, but I tell'ya. Questions about who you are, what you will become, and all the emotions you are going through now? My guess is, I've probably thought about those and felt the same things before too. And even after going through all that, I'm still pretty fine! All those memories before 21, I have'em too, and I remember them better than you do. If you wanna angst about anything that happened before you were 21, I suppose I'm in a pretty good position to tell you that there is absolutely no objectively good reason to do so.

Then again, I'm not going through what you are going through, and there might be new light shed on the context of those memories, so you might be thinking "Yeh right this guy's talking through his hat." That might be true. But there are things that only I can help you with; that I and only I can tell you; that just doesn't sound the same coming from anyone else. Condition: no questions. So I talk, and you listen, okay? You can't argue back. MUAHAHAHA. Gosh I love this and I should probably do this more often.

There is usually no objectively good reason for you to feel sad or to feel happy. You can identify the source of the happiness or sadness, and try to savour the goodness or solve the problem. But if you can't solve the problem, you have to live with it. You could confide in people you trust - that might help you feel better, but there's no guarantee. Yeh that's kinda shitty, I know. But even when the situation looks bleak, it would either eventually turn out for the better or you learn to look at things differently. I might not have gone through the same things as you, but I have faith that you can go through this period of sadness and emerge as a stronger person. Although this kind of stuff is usually said by other people, but I think it might also be appropriate for me to say that it's not your achievements who define who you are. You and I are defined by how we feel, what we recall and what we do when things happen to us. So even if you are in really bad shape now, I will not look down on you.

If you are depressed, you might want to go and see a doctor. Take my word for it that your 21 year old self wouldn't look down on you for it. I'll give you financial support (though that's kinda like a given).

Oh, and all these while I've been assuming that I won't do well in the future! Actually, I think the future looks pretty good! So I'm quite confident that you're actually doing quite well. If that's the case, congrats! If you want to do me a favour though, you could tell me the TOTO combi for this Sunday! Then I wouldn't have to fret over financial aid. Oh wait, you can't talk to me. Damn.

2010-02-04T00:44:00.000+08:00

Imagine writing an SAT 1 guidebook for NSFs.

"Wah lao, that cantankerous RSM today sibeh guai lan, anyhow give extra."

"That chiobu at 3 o'clock, her pulchritude damn up sia!"

"My buddy got this vexatious habit of snoring at night, blardy annoying."

"The downpour had inundated those suai kia's half-dug fire trenches with mud, hence they had to semula."

"He chao keng so often, even his histrionics wun convince the MO to let him down pes."

"The safety vehicle parked ominously in Delta Wing line at 11pm foreshadowed a turn-out."

"Dun eat canteen already, the cookhouse satay rice today is an epicurian delight!"

Suggestions are welcomed.

2010-01-31T21:24:00.000+08:00

SYPT is over. While I'm really happy that all four teams from RI have won the competition, reading the blog of a participant who has lost reminded me that there is always another side of things. I remember that throughout the preparation phase, whenever we hit an obstacle, we would remind ourselves: if even RI, with so much talent, school support and resources, cannot do this well, which other school can? As it turned out, we were right. All those factors greatly contributed to RI's victory. But it did make me think a little bit about how fair it all was.

Don't get me wrong. All four teams from RI deserved to win. The members were really smart, motivated and hardworking. They spent months thinking, number crunching, experimenting and rehearsing to make sure that they could put up a good fight no matter what. Which they did. It was clear that they were vastly superior to all other teams, and for some problems they even approached international standards. Yet, how are we to know that the members from other schools are not equally, if not more smart, motivated and hardworking than the RI team? By distributing resources to maximise the potential of a select group, are we burying other talents?

I understand that as a result of my interference or non-interference, there were only two possible ways things could go. Either that the RI teams maximise their potential and pwn the SYPT convincingly, while in the process improving Singapore's performance at IYPT, or that the RI teams don't become as strong, stand a good chance at winning the SYPT anyway since they are more experienced, and eventually become part of a pretty good team at IYPT. So, it seems that my interference could only have been for the better.

Still, it reminds me of the time when I gave tuition to my cousin's son. Although I was only meant to teach him N level physics chem and math, I liked to teach him extra stuff. I taught him how to make bots in Maplestory using AutoIt, and he got excited at programming. For the next week, he was bugging me to fix his code, but since I was busy then, he figured out what was wrong and managed to make a somewhat functional fishing bot for Runescape. He tried to learn Basic from online tutorials, but didn't know where to get an development kit, and had nobody to teach him. Because RI taught programming to everyone and had really good teachers and resources for it, I assumed that it would be the same for his school, and asked him to approach his school's computer studies teacher for help. It turns out that his school didn't teach that. I asked if he could approach his school's IT department personnel and just ask for help as a form of personal request, but it turns out that the IT department in his school was just an AV department and the people there didn't know programming. He struggled with learning Basic for about another week or so, but could not sustain it.

I thought that was rather wasted because I'm sure that if a Rafflesian had an interest in programming similarly sparked, he wouldn't have needed to go through so much trouble to get proper guidance. Granted, if he was sufficiently passionate about programming, he would have been able to learn it anyway, but it somehow strikes me as unfair that someone should be disadvantaged in learning stuff just because he has scored lower in PSLE four years ago. In fact, I think that because they are not as good in academics, all the more they should be allowed to explore other interests.

I know, saying that other schools get less resources is just another way of saying that RI gets more resources. There are only so many amazing teachers like Mr Mark Wee in Singapore, and it kinda makes sense that more resources are given to people who can learn better and faster. But still, the inequality in opportunities just makes me feel that it is somewhat unfair.

In the case of RGS SYPT teams not getting school support, I think that's just myopia on the school's part. It's pretty sad for the participants, really.

2010-01-28T01:48:00.000+08:00

"Be yourself" may not be a good advice, it is nevertheless helpful to say it, but only if you really mean it.

Perhaps, people generally have a somewhat stable "self" that they revert to when they are not under stressful conditions. I know, I can hang around with a bunch of people for an afternoon, but I can't do that day after day. Perhaps, that's what is meant by "character is who you are when nobody's watching"; it is the equilibrium position, the position that requires minimal effort to sustain. And change requires a great deal of external effort, because it is very tempting to revert back to old habits.

So why do people want to change themselves if it requires so much effort to do so? Perhaps it's because they are placed in stressful situations so often that they forget who they normally are or what they would like to do. It is not too unlikely actually, since there are so many other things to think about. Another possibility, which I think sounds more plausible, is that they want to avoid being stressed by adapting to the stress. Some forms of stress are caused by a lack of ability, and these can be relieved by honing these abilities. For instance, studying is a way to relieve academic stress. And for me, honing social abilities was a way to relieve this stress.

I admit that for a large part of my life I have tried to avoid stressful situations by avoiding stressful situations, but I guess army really forced me to change because I was with people all the time and I realised how relationships are important. I went out with people more often. I initiated conversations with new people. Stuff that are slightly out of my comfort zone. But being forced into stressful situations is not enough to change. I needed to know how to change.

I started small. I remembered the awkward situation when I offered someone tissue when he was still eating. That guy said it was ok, but I still felt bad. So the next time, I remembered when to offer tissue, which logically was after one have finished his/her food, right? That didn't come naturally to me. And I did so until it became natural. This small gesture took me a bit of practice. Then, one another occasion when I was eating with someone, he kept his tissue right away after he finished his food, then he offered me his tissue, looking a little sheepish. I thanked him, but at that point I realised that during that awkward situation, that guy probably really meant it when he said "it's ok."

So perhaps people are actually quite forgiving, but sometimes I can't help but feel that someone else looks a little awkward doing something. And I would ask myself if I seemed like that. I guess there are certain body postures or gestures that convey a certain message about yourself, and some of them just leave a bad impression. And I found myself looking at glass panes more often. Self-consciousness ensues. But generally, I've found that keeping your back straight and not looking down gives a better posture. (And I gotta admit, all that military drills helped a little.) But actually, I realise that while slouching is bad posture and may not leave a good first impression, after a while when you know a person's work ethic, you don't notice the slouching any more.

Then there are little little things. My mother sometimes told me, "When someone is talking to you, look at him in the eye." I guess it made me look distracted. I practised. So now, by default, I would look at a person in the right eye whenever I talk to someone. (It's always the right eye because I practised with that and now I'm used to it.) But now you don't really know if I'm listening to what you are saying, I don't see myself becoming more attentive to what people are saying anyway, so that kinda defeats the purpose of the exercise.

I have no idea if this works, but I'm taking more notice of my own and others' body posture. Plunging myself into various awkward scenarios gave me plenty of practice. I notice how I feel, I notice what I look like, and I try to adjust to something that looks more natural. Ok, it was hard the first time, so at some other occasion I tried to notice how I feel in a natural setting, and I'd replicate that. So after a while, I kinda related my posture to my feelings, and I extrapolate it to other people. I'm not sure if it works, but I guess it gives me a kinda indication of whether someone is feeling awkward in my presence, or whether I have made a mistake or something. Generally, it seems that people don't notice my mistakes as often as I used to think they do. Maybe it's not a mistake after all.

There are other small little things like how to behave in a mall, which required some practice too, but the general thing I found out is that, people don't really notice or care about your mistakes very much, and nobody is really sure of what the right thing to do is.

I suppose most people probably went through this self-conscious phase like 7 years before I did, but I probably entered it with a somewhat different perspective. It kinda helps to have read some books, and I guess KI was a good primer to them. This journey of being self-conscious and realising that actually I need not be so worried after all is probably trivial and commonplace, but I think it has been rather significant to me. This experience has told me that being myself doesn't necessarily entail feeling awkward all the time. It has given me the reason to have faith that I'm okay.

"Be yourself." probably means "I think that you are fine the way you are". It is comforting to hear it from people who matter to you, because it is a strong expression of approval - that I have either changed enough, or that I never really needed to be so concerned after all. But say it only if you really mean it, because being yourself is not easy when the self is under so much pressure to change.

2010-01-24T12:59:00.000+08:00

Random:

I shall try substituting choice words from the titles of the books on my book shelf with "your mom", and see how things go.

Your Mom lectures Physics

The Man who mistook His Wife for Your Mom

An Anthropologist on Your Mom

Notes from an Even Smaller Mom

Your Mom and Freedom

The Joy of Your Mom

The New Adventures of Army Moms

Freaknomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Your Mom

Harry Potter and the Order of Your Mom

Snow Falling on Your Mom

Brave New Mom

Money for Your Mom

On the Shoulders of Your Mom

Alice in Your Mom

The Tipping Point: How Your Mom makes a big difference

2009-11-15T22:03:00.003+08:00

Obligatory ORD reflection (albeit somewhat late)

MY FIRST BLOG POST AS A CIVILIAN(NSMAN)!

Before I enlisted, I wrote some stuff.

I'm hoping to take the two years in army as a chance to learn as much as possible. Although I wouldn't expect NS to be a bed of roses, I'm sure that it would be an enriching and enlightening experience. - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

And indeed it has been! How do I even begin? Let me first start off with enlistment. I enlisted with absolutely no expectations at all. No, wait, I expected it to be like RI Sec 1 orientation camp, which wasn't reasonable, and the PSLs(who themselves haven't been in army anyway) constantly told us that army would be worse. Now I'm not saying that they were lying or scaring us. What they said was probably true, because army AT THAT POINT IN TIME could have been less reasonable.

So I had a lot of imaginary fear that the commanders would anyhow tekan us for the slightest reason, and I think it screwed up my BMT recruit experience in a number of ways. Anyhow, I wasn't being a douchebag to anyone, so it was fine. I was pretty proactive and hardworking. And super uptight. For not much reason.

During BMT, I discovered that determination can only bring you so far. In my mind I wanted to believe that I can act altruistically, and most of the time I did behave like a "virtuous recruit", if there is such a term. I would pick up rubbish on the floor even if no one was around. I would clean the toilet if the previous guy who used it stained it. I would help people to fill their bottles during the rest times during route marches. Not remarkable or outstanding, but sometimes it required inner strength when I felt that I was doing more than my fair share, and someone else kept complaining about it.

I reached my threshold of "shit-tanking" during route march. For a bit of context, route marches are when you wear all your infantry gear with weapon and field pack and walk in a file for a certain distance, say 16km. You walk 4 km in about 45 minutes, then you get to rest for 15 minutes. During this 15 minutes you need to drink water, and after drinking you need to refill your bottle. Water refills are given in 19 litre jerry cans, and we found that the most efficient method is to get 4 guys to fill the bottles for everyone, while they all rested. People filling the bottles have to squat or kneel for almost the entire 15 minutes, so their legs don't get as much rest(which matters).

Now in the BMT platoon there are about 40 to 50 people, so you would expect that if everyone got their fair share of work, each person would only be filling bottles 10% of the time, right? But during the 16km march, I filled bottles after the first 4km, and also after the 8th km because I happened to be in the front row. At the 12 km I still happened to be in the front row with a jerry can in front on me, and everyone just passed their bottles forward. I asked if anyone hadn't filled bottles before, but nobody admitted. As the bottles accumulated in front of me I became "obliged" to fill the bottles, and I grudgingly filled them anyway. I was pretty sore after that, so for the 24 km march I didn't volunteer to fill the bottles at any interval.

The whole point of the story is: I was not longer the "virtuous man" when I was tired and blistered and aching, and I made a big deal about something like filling bottles, which normally wouldn't have mattered.

OCS Service term when when I started to feel that unreasonable expectations started coming in. Of course, there were all the recruit expectation: Your bunk had to be always clean. You must not talk in a file. But in BMT it was easier to manage, because there is usually 15 minutes reaction time from bunk to ground floor. In service term, you have about 2 to 5 minutes to react to anything. Maybe it's for a lesson. Maybe someone wants to talk to us. Maybe someone did something wrong and everyone's getting punished for it. At the same time our bunks were supposed to be clean, our drying yards tidy, and we cannot talk in a file just to find out what the hell was going on.

Well, supposed to be. Actually, many people didn't care. Lots of people took the risk and left their bunks in whatever state it was in. Occasionally people talked in a file, and generally got away with it because nobody was looking. Perhaps because I missed a lot of in-file convos, I was kinda outcasted in service term. I don't exactly remember the circumstances, but I did recall that often there were so many requirements on us, we had no choice but to cut corners somewhere. And when the instructors chose to inspect something and found that it wasn't done by everyone, it's usually "How come they can do this and you cannot? You special is it?" There is no telling what they would choose to inspect.

Then, I thought I had learnt a lesson: Sometimes rules have to be broken. Now as I reflect upon it further, I realise that there was actually no lesson to be learnt. The instructors just didn't know that it was too much for us, so no matter what, someone was going to get punished for cutting corners and it's nobody's fault. Or perhaps, the actual meta-lesson is: Shit happens. Get over it.

I wasn't a good cadet during service term. I was quite blur and less fit than most people in OCS, so lots of people helped me along, but it was both a physically and mentally tough period especially since I didn't have the social support or "friendships forged with fire" that many people claimed to have gotten during OCS. It's not that I didn't try, but my interests just don't overlap with many people's. My obsession with not talking in a file didn't help much. I'm really glad to be able to make it through that period.

On one occassion, the whole wing got punished for something I can't remember. After the punishment, the wing commander gathered us around him, and asked, "All of you close your eyes."
And we did.
"How many of you felt that something wasn't right? Raise your hands."
(I didn't feel that anything was wrong, so I didn't raise my hand.)
"Now open your eyes."
About 10-20% of the wing raised their hands.

I can't remember what the wing commander said after that, but the image and message was stuck deeply in me: Voicing out against the status quo is particularly difficult, because it often seems that you are alone and powerless. But you might actually be voicing out what other people are also thinking. If you have a good reason to voice something out, chances are someone else would agree with you, and even if nobody agrees with you, you have done nothing wrong.

Next I became a combat engineer officer cadet in pro term! It was somewhat better than service term, since it required more brain cells. In service term, after booking out I just wanted to sleep, nurse my injuries and talk to people before dragging my blistered feet to SAFTI MI. During pro term however, I actually had enough energy to read some books, which is pretty nice.

But there were also some selfish people. During pro term, we had to serve guard duty, and some of us are given weekend duties. Sundays and Saturdays are considered by the system to be equivalent, but actually, you stay in camp for half a day more when you do Saturday duty than Sunday duty, so people usually prefer Sunday duty. For that weekend, I had the fortune to be scheduled Sunday duty. But someone who was scheduled Saturday duty on that day had a prize presentation ceremony, and he asked me to swap with him. I did realise that it meant that I had to stay 6 hours more in camp if I swapped with him, but I figured that even if I rejected it, he would still ask someone else, and that person would kena also, so might as well I take it.

So I did. When I did the Saturday duty, @@ mentioned, "Eh, I thought && is supposed to do today's duty? How come you do?"
I replied, "Orh, because he got something on today, so I swapped with him."
@@: "You dunno that Saturday duty you do half a day more? You tio chiak by && alrd."
Me: "It's ok lah, since that thing is important to him he'll ask someone else anyway, then that person will still have to swap with him what."
@@: "Wah you really like to do Saturday duty one ah. First time hear." (By then I was pretty pissed off)
haoyi: "That's because not all people just think only for themselves."

That was really encouraging for me, because yes, technically my argument for accepting the swap was based on maximising net utility for all, but actually accepting the swap meant that I, of all the other people doing Sunday duty, had to be the one who sacrifices half a day at home for some goddamned principle. And knowing that someone else believes in it too made me feel that I wasn't being an idiot. I will find the chance to pay it forward when I can.

That's of course not to say that I'll always follow what other people believe is right. But I think inside all of us, we have some idea of what is the right thing to do, but when action towards that principle comes at a cost of some personal sacrifice another voice tells us "why are you doing this? how does it benefit you? why must it be you and not someone else? is it really worth it?" At this point, external encouragement makes a difference because it lends credibility to the internal assertation that "yes, it is worth it, because this is the correct principle to follow."

After commissioning, I became a secretary for Army Open House. I was really busy, but it was really a satisfying job, because I was in a position where if I don't do anything, other people would be a lot more busy. I started to see the merits of delegation and the importance of proper tasking. I was exposed to a little bit of office politics. I saw the purpose of organisational charts, meetings, agendas, timelines, presentations, minutes, and forms. Now as I take a step back, I find it really breathetaking how the Chairman's vision unfolded with every Exco meeting and finally came to fruition at the Army Open House itself.

So those are some of the enriching and enlightening experiences at army.

Hopefully, by being exposed to people from different strata in the society, I can gain a broader perspective of things. - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

The places I'm posted to are still pretty sheltered, so I can't say much. It is still a more diverse set of people than RJ though, so I can't say I learnt nothing either.

I agree that life in the military is not something everyone wants to experience, but then again, it's not something everyone gets to experience.- Yak @ 10 Jan 08

Go for the next Army Open House in 2011. Singapore Combat Engineers have set the bar really high this time round, so I'm pretty sure you'll get to do lots of cool stuff there by then.

We would go to university in the same year as Koh Zheng Ning!!! Doesn't that alone worth 2% of your lifespan? - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

OH YA HOR!

Hanging around with a new bunch of people is going to be a test of my social skills yet again. I shall try to do better than I have done before. If I succeed, it could be rewarding. - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

I figured that maybe it's not so much of a lack of social skills than the fact that I'm really just not interested in talking about what most people are interested in talking about and I'm not interested in doing what most people are interested in doing? I'm sure the average popular guy would be in awkward silence in a party full of, say, Star Trek fans (I'm sure I would be too, LOL). Of course, socialising is not a choice for me because I need to know some people just in case, y'know, I need them one day, but it also doesn't mean that if I don't enjoy their company then something is wrong with me.

Maybe I'm still young and idealistic. NS has a proven track record for turning people into cynics, but well, at least if I do, when I read this post again, I get to laugh at myself! - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

In fact, army has made me even more idealistic! (though not more young) Actually, a lot of people cynnical about the army were already cynical from the start.

And I'm really glad that I gave myself a set of goals and perspectives for NS before I enlisted, so that it is easier for me to make a post ORD reflection, and has helped to make my NS journey one that is more meaningful than it has already been. Thank you Yak @ 10 Jan 08!

You're welcome. - Yak @ 10 Jan 08

Wait... WHAT?!

just kidding.

2009-10-25T23:16:00.002+08:00

Random racist joke:

If Cyclops was Chinese, would he shoot diffration patterns?

Also:

2009-09-30T22:57:00.002+08:00

Ahh transition lenses. I've seen a couple of people in Army wearing them, and I must say, it is a really smart investment.

A smart investment for the company that made those lenses, I mean.

Transition lenses changes its darkness with the amount of UV light entering the eye. Actually, it is theoretically possible to increase the opacity of the lenses to visible light without increasing the opacity to UV. In fact, increasing the opacity to visible light actually makes your pupils dilate, increasing the amount of UV light and enters your eye. Of course, as long as the increase in UV opacity overshadows the dilation of the pupil, there is no harm done. Additionally, it reduces glare, which is kinda the whole point of sunglasses.

However, transition lenses also signal to everyone around you how much UV light their eyes are getting. Even when it is overcast, transition lenses still get discernably tinted.

This would remind everyone to protect their precious eyes from UV, so they would buy sunglasses, and preferably transition lenses.

2009-08-25T00:08:00.000+08:00

I feel lonely. Maybe it’s just a mood swing. After all, I don’t have any more or less friends and acquaintances as compared to yesterday. Different emotions trigger different thoughts, so I am writing down my present thoughts lest I forget them after I cheer up.

I suspect that it is a common human condition to have only a few really good friends. Do these people ever feel lonely?

I realise that I have a lot of reservations even with people whom I consider as my good friends. I worry that those whom I treat as my good friends do not treat me as such. I worry that they are not interested to hear what I say. I worry that talking about my weaknesses would be perceived as a means of garnering sympathy and attention. I worry that I would impose too much on them and become an inconvenience. I dare not reveal my fears and desires to anyone – those are the darnest of all things to talk about.

Ultimately, this means that there is nobody who understands me. I can’t blame anyone for that, because I don’t allow anyone to.

I hope that things can change. The above fears arise from my thoughts which appear reasonable, but are in fact backed by a fear or reluctance to trust people. As I have read, trust is a feeling that you get when you look at certain people in the eye. Supposedly, once you trust someone, you don’t think about how the person might harm you, which can be positively reinforcing. When you fully trust someone, you don’t think so much.

At the same time, trust is a faith not based on any reason, and I can’t just will myself to trust someone I don’t. To simulate trust, I tried to consciously think less when I interact with people. It isn’t easy doing something that isn’t justified and you don’t feel particularly passionate about, but it gets less uncomfortable with practice (perhaps because the good or bad outcomes of these irrational and dispassionate choices reinforce behaviour, making some choices less dispassionate over time). With more practice doing irrational stuff that I don’t feel for, I think it would become easier for me to talk to people. After all, so much of my daily speech consist of stuff I don’t believe and I don’t feel for.

Sometimes I’m envious of people who like to talk about soccer, cars, food and travel. It seems a lot easier for them to talk, and there seems to be so much to say. They don’t need to work hard to, y’know, just hang around with a bunch of guys and enjoy. While I didn’t need to work that hard for my studies, I wonder if that would actually make that much of a difference to my life in the long run if I can’t enjoy talking to most people.

Perhaps, finding a good friend is so important, that it is worth sacrificing a few acquaintances for.

(Looking on the bright side, I don’t need to have people around to be happy either. It’s just that being alone makes being moody that much worse.)

And why am I telling you all these? Because if I only talked to people I trust, I would have nobody to talk to.

Wow this is such an emo post. So emo that I might just delete it when I cheer up, erasing this part of my existence. Oh well. Xin yang caa 25-08 signs off now.

2009-08-09T00:28:00.002+08:00

I was undisciplined. But things have to change.

Since I left primary school, life has only gotten better for me. Academic success was of utmost priority, and while I wouldn't say it was a breeze for me, I did enjoy studying. My grades were not something to be ashamed of, so my parents gave me a great deal of autonomy. I chose to spend time studying what I liked (and attending Judo training, which I admit I didn't like that much). For many parents, it seemed like a good thing. They often told my parents they wished that their kids would study, and my parents were proud of me for that. The education system forced everyone to go through the same thing, and I felt really fortunate that I actually enjoyed it. Left to my own devices, I would learn what is required of the syllabus and more. It required no discipline on my part.

There was little pressure to do anything I didn't really like. I didn't really like to go out and watch movies. I didn't really like to play LAN. I didn't really like to hang out at shopping malls. I didn't like to talk to new people. I suspect that people were doing many other things that I didn't like to do, and of course I didn't have to do them either. Afterall, these are the things that parents don't usually want their children to do.

But those were normal social activities. "Normal" people want to play and don't want to study. For "normal" people, social skills are not much of a problem, since they acquire it while they do what they like, which is to play. As such, nobody gave any pressure to anyone to attain social skills. Academic grades, however, need to be worked at. A combination of external pressure and self-discipline would be required to produce results, because they don't normally like to do it.

Due to lack of external pressure, I didn't notice that I lacked social skills until Sec 4, when a fellow Judoka sat with me as I was eating at S11. I recalled from previous experience that Alex Ang would usually order drinks for everyone at the table in a situation like this. It felt really unnatural ordering drinks for someone else for the first time. After I had finished my food, I wiped my mouth with tissue paper, then offered the fellow Judoka tissue paper, even though he had not finished his food yet. I felt so stupid then.

Since then, a few occasions made my lack of social skills glaringly apparent to myself. CCAL camp was the biggest shock to me. (And at that point in time when I was so emotionally vulnerable, Wang Rui gave me a donut! I don't think I'll ever forget that.) But still, after emo-ing a while, I would be back to myself.

It ought to be apparent that if I were put into a situation where social skills mattered more than academics, then I should be developed more evenly, just like what a "normal" person usually experiences in school.

Amazingly, that's exactly what happened. Just like how social skills seemed to be secondary to academics in school, it turns out to be the exact opposite in National Service. I admit that I didn't learnt that as a trainee, since I was still not disciplined enough to force myself to learn social skills. But being appointed as the secretary for Army Open House meant that I had to call up many people, and occasionally asking people for information. Only then did I realise the importance of networking: things really get done more easily if you know someone in that business, firstly because there is less apprehension in making the call, and secondly because the other guy is less hesitant about giving you useful information.

Knowing the importance of networking, rather than the usual "oh no I suck", has so far been a greater motivation for learning social skills. And the usual sense of "having fun", it seems, is a pretty good way to learn. "Having fun" is tiring, but just as one would study harder as the exams draw near, I must have more "fun" as I sense the upcoming test of social skills as enrolment looms near. It's not that near, you say? Well, I'm quite a slow learner, actually.

2009-07-30T23:21:00.000+08:00

About 3 or 4 years ago, there was a stall that sold Hand-made noodles(手工面) near the Choa Chu Kang Bus Interchange, which I regular eat from. Almost daily without fail I would order dumpling noodles, and eat it with chilli sauce. One day, after eating there for like 10 times and she can recognise me already, the lady boss told me that the dumplings are traditionally eaten with vinegar and ginger. I tried it once, and I got addicted. After that, she'll always give me vinegar and ginger, while she gives other people chilli, since that's what they usually want anyway. Sadly, the stall is no longer there.

However, some time later (like, 1 or 2 years later), there is this stall other near to the Choa Chu Kang Bus Interchange that also sells Hand-made noodles(手工面), and I would order the dumpling noodles. Without fail, the waitress(can tell she's from China) would serve me the dumpling noodles together with a saucer of chilli sauce to my table. However, I still prefer to eat dumplings with vinegar, and I'll walk back from the table to the stall to get a saucer of vinegar, pouring a black liquid from a red jar into a saucer. And without fail, she'll turn to me quickly and say an a surprised tone, "那是醋啊!" (That's vinegar!). I would always reply, "对啊!"(That's right!) and walk back to my table with a saucer of black vinegar. It kinda made me wonder that perhaps, the dumpling with vinegar and ginger thingy isn't really a "traditional" thing after all. But heck, I just like eating it with vinegar anyway, traditional or not.

Sometimes I wish that the waitress would recognise me, and just give me the vinegar instead of chilli, or at least not look so surprised when I pour myself a saucer of vinegar. I always feel a tinge of guilt when I waste the perfectly good saucer of chilli. But today, when I ordered dumpling noodles, she gave me vinegar and ginger instead of chilli sauce! Pleasantly surprised, I couldn't help but show a wide grin, and she returned with what seemed to me the most sincere smile that I've seen from her.

Man, that really made my day.

2009-07-29T21:46:00.002+08:00

Oh my!

There's no "I" who can force myself to do something; the parts that makes me want or not want to do something are just different parts of me. What with "fighting spirit" to overcome the odds and the external influences! I have not fully realised the implications of a soulless self. I'm gonna take a while to get used to it.

Can I know the right path and want to take it?

Ah crap, I'm getting existential all over again.

Somehow, happy songs don't sound the same when you are sad.

Still, "You are a Pirate(Lazytown)" is a pretty darned jolly song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFzylCng2Zc

2009-06-30T21:30:00.002+08:00

Random:

If Sophia is a philosopher, is she also a narcissist?

"I knew I loved you before I met you;
I have been travelling faster than light"

So...I...won't...he...si...tate...no...more...
no...more...it...can...not...wait...
I'm...sure...~!

"In my world, there would a big fan that would blow away the dust, so that they sky would alway be blue."

"In MY world, I would be piloting a huge robot that can destroy everything with missiles and shoots laser beams, so that the factories producing pollution would not be able to pollute anymore."

Anyway, the Horlicks song is getting better. It used to be just reciting how much nutrition it contains. Now it's about growing up healthy so as to fulfil the kids' ambitions! Pretty nice.

2009-06-28T21:01:00.003+08:00

Random stuff:

"Which is the part that you don't understand?" is not the same as "Which part of this do you not understand?"

When you see a Youtube video that is rated 3 stars, but you think it deserves 4 stars, would you rate it 4 stars (to chip in your vote) or 5 stars (so that it receives 4-star rating)?

2009-06-20T10:12:00.003+08:00

A series of random thoughts.

Ring, Ring! Hello, General Lee speaking?

Our robots are going to fight your robots. Our robots are strong. Our robots will defeat your robots.

If a bunch of surgeons refuse to perform an operation, do you call it a surgical strike?

"How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood?" You stumped me.

"A rhombus is a rectangle that a bitch would draw."

"Some say it's a promethium tip, others say it's a tritium tip. Nevermind, we'll call it the pritium tip."

2009-06-19T21:30:00.002+08:00

I just had like the weirdest dream last night. But because there is no way for you to know if I really dreamt it, I could have just made it up and you won't know. And my brain probably made some stuff up so that everything appears to make sense.

In the world that I was in, I was just a normal working class guy who only reads news when everyone starts talking about something. In that world, world war 2 didn't happen. Capitalism and communist coexisted in different countries peacefully, and both systems were successful in their own ways. No nukes were ever launched, and there was widespread use of nuclear power everywhere. (This was the context, not the things that I had witnessed, but the things I assume to be true and obvious all these while.) One day, a dirty bomb was set off in some country. It shouldn't have be a very big issue, but it was realised that there was a lot of radioactive waste that went missing. (I read these on the news) So far nothing exciting happened to me. I read about all those things on the news.

It gets really weird here. Somehow, around this time, my friend realised that she can create a portal that allows you to teleport people somewhere else, but she can't teleport herself. With some practice, she could teleport more and more people, and she published videos of herself doing this onto the web. As she got more internet fame, she received a letter from the military (I'm not sure if singapore, or any of the countries as we now know existed in that world, but it was the local armed forces.) that invited her to some ulu place, but told her not to post this on the net. Excited that she has a chance to serve the country, she promptly went, but I went with her because it's such an ulu place.

(Can't remember how we got there.) Escorted by uniformed personnel, we entered this room deep in the building that seems really well secured. An important looking guy (I couldn't recognise ranks, because I had never served in the armed forces before), along with a few other less-important-looking guys came in, and seemed really interested in her ability. He asked her to demonstrate her ability, and which she cheerfully did so, teleporting the less-important-looking guys around the room.

After a few demonstrations, she got really tired. At this point, the important-looking-guy admitted that they had already known that people with her abilities exist, but they had always managed to control them before they managed to publicise this. Nobody in the world is supposed to know that such abilities exist, and they had always been planning to use these people to assist the special forces in infiltration ops. They also had intelligence that the agency responsible for the dirty bomb is actually a well organised terrorist group, and they have assessed that they are capable of crippling nations if they have the ability to teleport people. As the terrorists know where the organised armies are, but not the other way round, the existence of the teleportation ability is a far greater advantage for the terrorists than for the armed forces. As such, the armed forces is trying to round up all the people with this ability, and kill them to prevent the terrorists from having the chance to make use of them. So, in the room well secured by military personnel, my friend and I braced for imminent doom.

And I woke up, feeling very confused.

2009-06-01T21:14:00.000+08:00

My purpose of life: To matter to those who matter to me most.

2009-05-18T21:50:00.002+08:00

>>Go North

You have entered the final chamber of the Dark Mage's Dungeon. You now find yourself face-to-face with the Dragon.

>>Kill Dragon

With what, your bare hands?

>>YES

Congratulations, you have killed the Dragon with your bare hands! Incredible, isn't it?

2009-05-14T21:13:00.002+08:00

The impressions that I get from my readings of popular psychology this past year or so is that psychology is at a pre-paradigm stage, with no particularly dominant over-arching structure that guides its research programs(in the Lakatos sense). There are psychological theories that aim to diagnose and treat people with mental illnesses, theories that aim to encourage certain desired behaviour, theories that were used as political instruments in the struggle for equal rights, and theories that aim to help organisations harness human potential more effectively. It is hard to consider psychology as a single subject, because the only thing that is common to all these theories is that the subject matter is the mind, and that they use the scientific method. Reading about all these theories seems like 瞎子摸象.

Perhaps, it's just that psychology is a HUGE subject, but popular psychology books don't emphasise this point. I would suppose that if all that one knew about science came from popular science books and magazines, science would seem like a really messy subject too. I guess I'm like a guy reading Scientific American and going, "Woah, black holes, cool! But what's that got to do with the health benefits of dark chocolate?"

2009-05-10T20:29:00.002+08:00

"The number that I got from the girl at the party doesn't work!"
"Maybe she gave you a fake number."
"Why would she do that?"
"Well, perhaps the Singtel Mobile customer that you're trying to reach is not available."

2009-05-09T10:31:00.001+08:00

2009-05-08T23:00:00.002+08:00

Three steps to brighten your day.

1) If things don't go as expected, there is always hope! - Canon in D Major

2) Because nothing cannot be conquered with Fighting Spirit and a good dose of Metal. - Rocks Jam Project

3) And thus begins the adventure! - Aya Hirano - Bouken Desho Desho

If you fail to cheer up after the third step, you are diagnosed as clinically depressed. There, I've just saved you a trip to the shrink.

2009-03-28T11:16:00.002+08:00

I'm so shallow now. Oh dear. It's good that Nelson is there to share his knowledge with me, so I can learn stuff while bumming around.

But well, just an idea:

Would you be able to recognise the MRT voice when you hear it in person? I mean, I can imagine if people recognise on the road "Oh excuse me, are you the FHM girl of the year?" (Is there such a thing? Never mind, you get my point. Don't do it in front of her grandma though.) What if you are just walking down the road and you hear the MRT voice in person? Would you stop by and ask, "Excuse me, are you the MRT voice?"

Or imagine the MRT voice having a job interview.

"On your CV, you claim that you voiced the soundtrack for MRT station names. If you don't mind, can you say 'Bishan'?"
"Bishan."
"My gosh you ARE the real thing! Can you say 'Orchard'?"
"..."

I remember that when I was in RI and RJ, I would always sleep in the train from Choa Chu Kang to Bishan. When the MRT voice says "Bishan" I would wake up, alight the train and rush off to school. Till now, I still wake up when I reach Bishan even if I don't intend to alight there.

Wouldn't it be very cool if SMRT uploaded the MRT voice soundtracks, along with the person's name, from 1986 to present?

2009-03-20T22:42:00.002+08:00

"On Being Certain" by Robert A. Burton has got to be one of the most depressing book I've read so far. You know what Kurt Godel did to Math? And what Descartes did it to EVERYTHING?

Well, using the latest results from psychology and neurology, Dr Burton finished the job by doing it to "Cogito Ergo Sum." Nice one, doc.

To sum it up,

Godel + Descartes + Burton = Massive headache.

Pick it up from your nearest library. If you dare.

2009-03-07T08:23:00.002+08:00

The flowers have bloomed in my army camp. Maybe the quick transitions between the blazing sun and the pouring rain serve as signals for the jasmine flowers to bloom together, thereby improving their chances of successful cross-pollenation. Whatever the reason, it remains a fact that there was a huge bloom of Jasmine flowers in my camp, and it's really fragrant. Since young I have always been told that flowers are fragrant, but I never actually associated flowers with fragrance because all the flowers I've seen (i.e. bougainvilla, ixora, hibiscus) have no smell.

Yes, so if you wish to make your house fragrant naturally, plant jasmine. You can't really smell many other flowers.

Only if you are prepared to have them visited by bees though. The jasmine bloom in my camp received good patronage from them.

2009-03-01T12:38:00.002+08:00

"How's the bread?"
"Pretty good. You want some?"
"No! I'm genuinely interested in knowing it's quality."

"Hello, is John in?"
"Ahh, please hold on."
"No, it's okay! I just want to know if he's at home."

"Excuse me mister, are you in the queue?"
"No, I'm not in the queue. *steps aside*"
"It's ok! I was just wondering why you've been standing there for so long."

2009-02-27T22:22:00.002+08:00

Random idea.

Suppose you invent a head-dress (could be a cap, hat or visor) which contains a patch that measures skin-conductance. The head dress would display the scaled skin-conductance graph of the wearer. This would allow other people would know how stressed you are, and to a certain extent, whether you are lying. However, the display for the skin-conductance is designed such that you can only read the skin-conductance of other people if you are wearing a particular kind of goggles.

Experiment one.

1. Get a bunch of people. Give half of them special goggles.

2. Split them into pairs, so that 1/3 of the pairs have 2 goggles, 1/3 of the pairs have one, and1/3 of the pairs have none.

3. The researcher, while wearing the special goggles, observes them having a conversation with each other, with perhaps some prompting questions.

Which of the cases is the most stressful? Both partners having goggles? Both without goggles? Being the only one without goggles? Or being the only one with goggles?

Experiment two. (Same thing, except the bolded parts)

1. Get a bunch of people. Give half of them special goggles, and give the other half of them similar-looking but normal goggles.

2. Split them into pairs, so that 1/3 of the pairs have 2 special goggles, 1/3 of the pairs have one, and1/3 of the pairs have none.

3. The researcher, while wearing the special goggles, observes them having a conversation with each other, with perhaps some prompting questions.

Which of the cases is the most stressful? Both partners having special goggles? Both without special goggles? Being the only one without special goggles? Or being the only one with special goggles? Would they be able to tell if their partners have special goggles?

2009-02-22T17:13:00.002+08:00

Random thoughts:

Some of the recent advertisements are seriously bad, or as Nelson puts it, "No effort!"

Like, the "London Choco Roll" advertisement just involves some airy voice chanting "London Choco Roll" while a yellow fairy dances in front of the said product.

Or, the "Jia xiang mian" advertisement.

"Jia Xiang!" "Mian!"
"Jia Xiang!" "Mian!"
"Jia Xiang Jia Xiang!" "Mian Mian!"
"Jia Xiang Jia Xiang Jia Xiang!" "Mian Mian Mian!"
"ooooooooooh Jia Xiang Mian!"

That's like some secondary school cheer, dude.

The Shop N Save advertisement is painful to even recall.

2009-02-15T16:20:00.002+08:00

OH. MY. GOD.

Shawn(now 14) has broken his voice.

And in this new campus superstar, there is ANOTHER guy called Jarod Lee(now 13). This guy sings damn well too!

What's best, Shawn and Jarod are gonna sing together!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_xfwBR3Lk0&feature=related

My goodness.

2009-02-13T19:45:00.002+08:00

Random:

Here's what you get when you google-translate the chorus for Britney Spears' "Womanizer":

Womanizer ，女性womanizer ，你是一个womanizer
噢， womanizer ，哦，你是一个womanizer婴儿
你，你，你，你，你，你是
Womanizer ， womanizer ， womanizer
（ Womanizer ）

男孩不要前端
一只是我知道，只要你是什么，是
男孩不要前端
一只是我知道，只要你是什么，是

(男孩不要前端? What the heck?)

Actually, we don't know whether the guy she's talking about is really a womanizer. But she asserts her claim so confidently with such great frequency, that if it's true that a lie repeated oft' becomes the truth, then that guy is almost certainly a womanizer. Especially since this song is played like EVERYWHERE almost ALL THE TIME.

2009-02-07T12:21:00.003+08:00

Random made-up conversations/monologues.
_____________

"My favourite music goes like this: 'Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit...'"

"Do you mean 'Ride of the Valkyries' by Wagner?"

"Oh is it? *youtube* Ahh yes!"
_____________

"Guys, I know that you don't like Chinese very much. I didn't like Chinese either when I was in sec 4. But now, I regret the fact that I didn't work hard enough for Chinese back then.

Have you seen the New Moon Chicken Essence advertisements? I've heard that they pay a thousand plus bucks to those who appear on their advertisements. Think about it! A thousand plus bucks! You can get yourself a pretty decent computer with it.

Well, I could have been one of them, except that I didn't get A1 for Chinese. Damn. If only... back then... sigh... then I'LL be the one who is proudly holding up the can of New Moon Chicken Essence for all to see, and I'LL be a thousand bucks richer in the process. If only...

So you see, an A1 for Chinese isn't exactly useless. In the case that you get A's for everything else for your A levels, you'll be an additional thousand plus bucks richer! Now, I hope that while you are contemplating giving up on Chinese, think about the thousand bucks! Man, that's a spanking new PC or even laptop! And you'll be the ubiquitous dude holding up the New Moon Chicken Essence with the wide grin across your face telling the whole of Singapore that you are some smart guy, and perhaps, just perhaps, while you are on the MRT doing your uni apps on your brand new Laptop, a little kid would squeal at his mom, "MA, isn't that the gor gor / jie jie who drinks New Moon Chicken Essence and scored the highest for A levels?" And everyone in the carriage turns around to look at you! What a Crowning Moment of Awesome that would be!

BUT! If you don't get an A1 for Chinese, that would never happen.

So, I hope that y'all would be inspired enough to study hard for your Chinese O levels! Wish you good luck!"

2009-01-31T23:37:00.002+08:00

A short discussion on Biogenesis

X: I can't believe that anyone would still not believe in evolution!

Z: Well, D is one. Go ask him why.

X: D, you don't believe in evolution? Why?

D: I just find the concept of natural selection really quite hard to believe.

*X and Z proceeds to explain natural selection*

D: Okay, but still, it is a process that theoretically takes millions and millions of years! How can scientists be so sure that the universe has existed for this long? Why can we assume that physical laws that hold true now holds true in the past as well, enabling us to extrapolate our methods into the past?

*Critical Hit*

Personal commentary: From my point of view, I haven't been convinced by D, because I have learnt many physical laws, all of which I implicitly assume are independent of the age of the universe. It would be much harder for me than for D to accept that the universe is much younger than it appears to be. However, I do not know why scientists think that the universe is billions of years old. It had just been a habit to accept the word of scientists and deny all that is contrary to it.

Yet the rigour of science is based on the scientific method, and the scientific method cannot tell us if the universe had physical laws so different in the past that we have been misled from its actual age. However, the scientific method can test many other laws that explain other phenomena, along with the assumptions that make these laws work. While these assumptions may not be the absolutely correct one (since there is always the possibility of there existing an unknown variable in a law), it seems reasonable to assume that we can extend these assumptions to untestable circumstances.

Why so? Well, it is hard to say what is "reasonable". Induction is reasonable on daily life, even if we don't know we are applying it. For example, if a drink stall has served you good coffee twice, it seems reasonable to expect that it would serve you good coffee the third time. In this case, applying similar assumptions to all other physical laws is just using induction on a bigger scale.

From the opposing point of view, however, science has only tested its laws for a particular period of time, and thus has only a very small number of data points regarding how the physical laws are affected by the age of the universe. As such, science still cannot reasonably extrapolate that that physical laws that work now would have worked in the past.

We must concede that scientists are human as well. A coherent set of beliefs supported by a few "axioms" is a nice thing to have, and shaking the foundations of natural philosophy with some metaphysical "what if" is hardy worth the trouble.

"Mr Einstein, maybe E=mc²+Rjc³, just that R happens to be zero?"

2009-01-31T23:12:00.002+08:00

A short discussion on free will

D: As a presbyterian, my belief is that God is all-knowing because He had created this world with a predetermined future. In a sense, you still have free will and control over your actions, it's just that the outcomes have been predetermined.

Z: No, that can't be free will. If it is predetermined, then it means that I am forced by God to do what he "knows" I'll do next.

X: But having someone know that you would do something doesn't mean that you have no choice. Suppose you have a very good friend who knows that you would always buy coffee when you are eating at this place. So when you goes to this place, your friend already knows that you would buy coffee. If it turns out that you do buy coffee, does that mean that you have no choice? No! It's just that your good friend happens to know your preferences very well. Perhaps God just happens to know your preferences better?

Z: But God is the one who determines my preferences, and that leaves me with no free will, as He has manipulated all our actions and intentions! (But free will is the ability to choose what you prefer, no?)

D: What is manipulation? Suppose a girl scout tries to sell you a box of cookies for 10 bucks. You refuse, but she asks if you would donate $2 instead. Is this manipulation?

Z: No.

D: What if I tell you that actually, the girl scout actually has no intention of selling the cookies; she knows that if she does this, the likelihood of getting a $2 donation is higher than if she hadn't tried selling you the cookies in the first place.

Z: Yes, then it is manipulation.

D: What if, actually, the girl scout didn't know about this phenomenon; she was just following instructions from her leader, who happened to know about this phenomenon?

Z: Well, then I've been manipulated by the leader, but not by the scout.

X: What if the leader isn't sure if it works? Suppose it works in some cities and doesn't work in some. Does whether it is considered as "manipulation" depend on which city you happen to be in?

"EOCC fall in now."

2009-01-31T23:08:00.002+08:00

"When you are in geography class next time,

Pay close attention to the part when they mention the OX-BOW LAKE.

It is extremely important and you would be using this knowledge very often in future."

2009-01-28T16:31:00.003+08:00

It is about time that I embarrass my future self again. Obviously I do not know better than to do otherwise. Yet.

Every few years, I get a feeling that I have always been wrong, and become embarrassed for what I have stood for. I would wonder, "Why did I say so much, or do so much, without further thinking?" Then proceed on to expound on my new-found world view. Revision of my world view would often coincide with a period of emo-ness. (As of yet, I am unclear of the casual relation.)

Nevertheless, I am still tempted to write down my beliefs, just to make some sense my thoughts.

In J1, I have formulated a philosophy that I still hold today. The self is a distinct and separate being at every point in time, and it makes sense for us to treat our past and future selves as other people whom you happen to understand quite well, but not completely.

Right before KI A levels, I came up with the idea that all our beliefs are based on transcendental arguments, combined with faith in one of the three ontologies (materialism, dualism, idealism) that form a coherent set of self-reinforcing beliefs.

During NS, I had some time to read a few books on psychology. Here are the few things I found particularly disturbing:

-People with very different brains(due to damage or otherwise) view the world very differently.
-People can be happy or unhappy despite their circumstances, and they may not be in control.
-People are born with different temperaments which are difficult to change.
-People may not be conscious of the way they make decisions.
-People act largely based on how they feel. How they feel is based on temperament and circumstances. While there may exist options that are more expedient, they are not equally accessible to people of different temperaments.
-People don't know what makes them happy, especially in the future.

Ok, they all seem rather obvious. They still leave some questions open.

-Can we ever justify our actions? Are principles merely personal preferences?
-To what extent should we pursue happiness?
-If altruism is a biological trait, does that mean that some people are inclined to be more altruistic than others? If good deeds do not make one feel good, is one right in not doing them?
-To what extent can, and should we tamper with our own psyche? Is unconscious influence on others a form of tact or is it outright manipulation?

A wizard has turned you into a whale.

Is this awesome? Y/N

2009-01-09T23:51:00.003+08:00

I accidentally caught a glimpse of "Tuan2 Yuan2 Fan4" (Reunion Dinner) on TV, and I'm absolutely hooked on it! The plot and dialogue is like 100X more plausible and life-like than "Little Nonya" (Seriously, does yueniang haveany flaws, save the lack of superstrength and laser vision? Ah yes, she can't fly. Right.)

Yes, so I'll be piously glued to the TV everyday 9 pm to get my daily dose of YAYA! And yes, I shall dedicate the rest of this post to YAYA, 'cos she TOTALLY steals the show!!

Ok, so the character YAYA is a precocious primary two girl who gets high from using idioms and cheem vocabulary in daily banter("Did I just use another idiom? YES!!", and she insists on calling her mother "Mu3 Qing1" *shudder*. )What she says are obviously too mature for someone her age, which makes her really REALLY cool! Like, "Mother(yes, she said mu qing), have you cooled down? Once you have done so, allow me to analyse the situation for you. At the current stage, ...Blah..."

OH. MY. GOD.

Plus, the actor is very natural with her obviously-too-mature lines, and is ~~~~~~~shHOooOOOOOoooOO~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~cUUUUuuuUUUTTTTTTE~~~~~ showing her milk teeth and dimple whenver she grins! you just can't help but <33 a kid with a disarming grin --> *^_^* <--- and is, in my opinion, the MOST situationally aware character in the entire show!!!! (NOBODY deserves to miss the scene where she chased away the loan sharks. by herself. with just a notebook and pen and her wits. yes, she's just that awesome.

I really hopes that she gets more air time on the subsequent episodes. Sadly, the "star interaction" thingy at 3pm tomorrow for "Tuan Yuan Fan" doesn't include YAYA. :<

2009-01-04T23:38:00.004+08:00

And so I met up with ziLin (now zi lin) today, and it is quite an interesting exchange. I learnt a bit about US politics and US culture, and a bit of psychology. I used to dabble a lot into philosophy because I thought we could find out a lot about ourselves through introspection, but now that I'm introduced to psychology, maybe philosophy isn't such a good avenue anymore.

Much like how science has taken the place of "natural philosophy", it seems like psychology taking the place of certain aspects of philosophy as well, such as philosophy of mind, aesthetics and ethics(though there is still the is-ought problem). It's like, the COOLEST part of philosophy, and you don't have to resort to lame assumptions like, "I'm sure we can all agree that nobody would think it is right to torture an innocent baby." or that "Nobody really thinks that Duchamp's fountain is beautiful right?" Yes, so psychology gives you answers that you can do something about, and not depressing like stuff like "so what if happiness is just an illusion?"

And there are two videos related to what we talked about today.

Rubber hand illusion:-http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCQbygjG0RU

Related, this is quite funny:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PsT-KZpkgrw

Not so related, having a frightening/thrilling experience next to a potential mate gives the illusion of greater attractiveness of the other party. Could that be why James Bonds gets to shag so much?

2008-12-29T01:15:00.002+08:00

"Damn, Exercise Liger's up next. Anyway, what the heck is a liger?"
"A liger is cross between a lion and a tiger."
"Seriously?"
"And a tion is a cross between a tiger and a lion."
"And let me guess, a donkey is a cross between a dragon and a monkey?"

2008-12-19T14:56:00.002+08:00

"Our base is under attack."
"Unit lost."
"Enemy engineer detected."
"Our hovercraft is full of eels."

Transmission received: "Your mother was a hamster."

2008-11-30T18:42:00.002+08:00

Now that I have satisfied my desire for a first hand experience with the penetrating power of the Shaped Charge, being a normal human, now I want a new toy!

I want. A Transcranial Magnet. With an instruction manual.

If you shut down someone's left brain, would you make him feel like "One with the world"?

If you shut down someone's fusiform gyrus and make him watch porn, would he be turned on?

If you shut down someone's mirror neurons, would he empathise with autistic people better?

If you shut down someone's short-term memory, would he appear confused all the time, or would he act on instinct?

Can you make someone feel like he has one hand? Or three hands? Or two left hands?

Can you make someone think that he is really a character in an RPG game?

Can you make someone think that red is blue and blue is red? If he gets used to it, would red soothe him instead of agitate him? Can we then know for sure that "his red" is different from "our red"?

Can you make someone's think that boys are girls and girls are boys? Would that change his sexual orientation? Would that change the way he think of himself?

Can you make someone think that sounds never existed?

Ultimate: Can you make someone think that thoughts never existed?

2008-11-21T21:43:00.003+08:00

a > b means 'a' is greater than 'b'. In nursery, the book told us that the > sign is a crocodile. As you know, crocodiles would prefer to eat more, so naturally the crocodile would want to eat the bigger number. I wondered why the crocodile would prefer eating 9 to eating 8, since 8 is "bigger" than 9! (I dunno if you can see the logic behind it... one way to put it, is that when you writing 8 involves more writing than writing 9)

Anyway, one day in nursery, for some reason, I got the impression that the crocodile didn't want to eat so much. And as a result, I scored badly for that piece of work.

So, as an extension to that concept...

a >> b. 'a' is so much bigger than 'b' that some crocodile would rather bite another crocodile's tail to snatch for a bit of 'a'.

a ><> b. a is sufficiently bigger than b for two crocodiles to want to eat it, but not enough to fight for it.

a <> b. Both a and b are so small that the crocodiles can't be bothered.

> a b<. The two crocodiles hate each other so much that they totally don't care about the food.

2008-11-21T20:12:00.003+08:00

I am back from Thailand.

Thailand was fun! I'm pretty happy about the stuff I've bought there.

I bought mainly 2 things: A remote controlled car that costs $10, and Red Alert 3 for $24.

Why am I so happy about the remote controlled car? Because it is only about 5cm long, and you wouldn't believe that it's remote controlled until you've seen it work. When I bought it, I got responses like this:

G(some guy): What's that you bought?
X(me): A toy car for $10.
G: [condescendingly]...you bought that?
X: Yeh, it's remote controlled.
G: [in disbelief] ARE YOU SERIOUS?
X: Yep. *proceeds to play with the RC car*
G: Eh! Tell me where you bought it from!
X: Sure. *brings him to the store* Excuse me, do you have any more of this? No? Oops, I guess I bought the last one... [in my mind: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA]

I did this twice. Just to be a bastard.

The other thing I'm really happy about was the Red Alert 3. $24 for an original. It normally costs about $60 in Singapore. There were games in the same shop that the shopkeeper assures that "if it's not explicitly stated it's in Thai, it's in English" Problem is, the Red Alert 3 packaging stated that it's in Thai. I was a little apprehensive about it initially, but Haoyi assured me that there should be some way to change it to English, so I bought it anyway.

When people saw my purchase, they were comparing, "See, mine doesn't say it's in Thai, so it's in English. You see Xin Yang's one! It says it's in Thai, so I don't know... Eh Yak, are you going to learn Thai while playing this game?" "I'll try to work this out." "If you can't, you basically wasted $24!"

So when I got home, after a few hours, it was indeed in Thai. I MADE it work in English.

The next time they asked, "So, how's your Red Alert 3?"
"It's in Thai, but I managed to make it work in English."
"How did you do that? Mine is in Thai." *NOTE THE IRONY*
"Oh I had to download 3 language files, change the 3 files, edit a config file, and repatch it online. It's harder than it sounds."
"That's nice! How much was your Red Alert 3?"
"$24."
"And how much does it usually cost?"
"$60."
"So you saved $36."
"Yep."

Basically, my purchases were huge ego boosts for me, 'cos I have 2 things that you want but you don't have! Neh neh neh neh neh!

Other than my fruitful shopping trip, the night sky was wonderful. It is basically as though the star map in real time was displayed on Omnimax in HD, only more awesome because 1)there are no lines, 2) it includes planets, 3) as you look more closely you can see more and more stars. As someone said, "You could see Orion wielding his sword."

It's a pity that wonderful night skies always appear at the most inopportune moments. Once was in Bintan, during CCAL camp, when we had to move from our campfire location to our campsite. Another time was in Pulau Tekong, during 5BX. Now Thailand, during our deployment exercise. Damn. Oh well, at least I caught a glimpse of a wonderful night sky, and I know that this is something I can look forward to in future, since the stars will always be there.

In the day, the scenery is beautiful! The ground is mostly shubbery and sparse sundry vegetation or plantation, so once positioned on any small knoll you can see very far. Indeed, you can not only see the hills and knolls 10km away, you can even see the mountains >30km away, with the clouds encircling the hillside. It's a pity that for some reason, I didn't really see the sunset.

You wouldn't believe it, but it is really cold at night. Like, 15 degree celcius that kind. When you wake up in the middle of the night to go to the latrine it is so cold that it is hard to fall asleep again, unless you build a fire next to you. And yes, this IS Thailand.

This post is an attempt to make it sound like a holiday trip to Thailand. If you thought so, I have succeeded. Hurray to me.

2008-11-01T17:57:00.002+08:00

I've just learnt that the word "Goodbye" originated as a contraction of the phrase "God be with ye."

God be with ye -> Godbwye -> Goodbye

See! Even then people used "b" to represent "be" and "w" to represent "with"! Contractions are clearly not a modern thing.

In the Star wars world, shouldn't they be saying "Foorbye"?

So nowadays, when we say "bye" when we are leaving each other, we really mean "be with you"?

If I just want you to scram, should I be saying "Debye"?(Wait, that's a unit for dipole moment)

Or if I wish you future success in your political career in Singapore, I should say "Leebye"?

I'llbye sounds pretty cryptic if you ask me.

2008-10-31T23:38:00.003+08:00

While commenting on a post, I had this random thought.

Normally, verbal conversations are one-tracked. That is, the participants of a verbal conversation can only engage in one topic at a time, and usually there is a point when there distinct change in topic. I think that this is the case because we cannot listen to others speak while we ourselves are speaking. However, in MSN conversations, multiple topics can be engaged simultaneously, because it doesn't require listening or speaking.

But have you wondered, do deaf/mute people have single topic conversations?

I mean, just because you can't listen and talk at the same time doesn't necessarily mean that you can't watch and gesture at the same time. If that is the case, wouldn't deaf/mute people be more adept at multi-topic convos on MSN?

____________

Another random thought:

In evolutionary biology, traits of beauty are linked with traits that demonstrate health, youth, and in turn fertility. There has been research done on beautiful faces, and by geometrical studies, it has been shown that if certain ratios can be made to obey the golden ratio, the face would be perceived as beautiful. With this model, cosmetic surgery would have a guide as to what modifications would make a person look better.

Now, what about beautiful voices? Since beautiful voices are linked to young-sounding voices, it makes some sense in terms of evolutionary biology. Now, I'm sure someone would have done fourier analysis on beautiful voices before. Are there particular physical properties of beautiful voices that separate them from not-so-beautiful voices? Can voices be modified to sound better?

If there are people who do cosmetic surgery to please their partner, would there be people who would consider voice modification to please their blind partner?

If both beautiful voices and faces are indications of health, youth, and fertility, why is it that not all people with beautiful voices have beautiful faces? (e.g, Ou de yang)

____________

CTW did a 16km route march along East Coast Park. Being the wayang kias we were, we sang extra loud when there were people watching. When a few girls walked past from our left side, Cpt Daniel had to tell us, "Oei, pandan ke hadapan[or how something like that]! (meaning 'face front')".

I told my mother about this, then she said that when she was younger (about 16+) and working near taman jurong, the marching army boys caught her attention, and she watched with admiration as the guys marched past, filled with gusto and spirit as they sang and cheered in unison.

No, really.

2008-10-19T21:06:00.002+08:00

"Our higher-ups are very proud of this new equipment which they have procured. In actual fact, it sucks. It sucks so much that we only use it when we have no better alternative."
"Why do you say it sucks?"
"I'm sorry, that's classified."

I recommend you play Fantastic contraption.

2008-09-30T22:36:00.003+08:00

Why not?

It's just another planet right?

Not as if planet earth is the only unique thing in the universe. Every point in time is unique. Everyone we meet is unique. Every interaction we have with others is unique. Yet we don't cherish them.

So, why this? From what you've been doing so far, saving the planet isn't consistent with your actions.

... so why not?

It's just a human life, right?

How's a human life worth any more than another animal's life? How do you even judge the worth of a life? People don't judge the lives of everyone equally; it's worth more if they can relate to it and empathise with it, and worth less if they can't. In fact, most people would be more affected by the death of their pet than a fellow countryman whom they can't relate to.

You trust such judgements on the worth of life? Then why preach about the sanctity of life? It isn't consistent with your actions.

Conclusion: unbounded insistence on consistency would get us nowhere, even on the most obvious things.

Common sense is common sense even if they are wrong, because everyone else think that everyone else don't know it is wrong except themselves, and they wouldn't admit it because it's obviously true.

2008-09-14T12:15:00.002+08:00

context: YCX and amyas are my godlike juniors, now in j1. based on my impression from 2 years ago, amyas was slightly more godlike. just today,

YCX: did I tell you abt what happened last ct
YCX: abt the first qn
YCX: it was some graphing qn
YCX: find intersections btw Y=xlnx n some other graph
YCX: is sposed to use solve by GC
YCX: dan [amyas] go and do lambert W
YCX: T_T
me: wait.
me: wad is that?

(then i go and wiki "lambert W")

me: HOLY SHIT

AMYAS IS OFFICIALLY BEYOND-GODLIKE.

2008-09-10T01:34:00.004+08:00

Watch There She Is!! It's good.

2008-09-09T21:12:00.006+08:00

What's the deal with spending 8 hours cleaning arms? Could it be that having a very clean weapon gives you an edge in battle?

__________

Rifleman: The rifleman is the bedrock of the army, also known as the Queen of the Battlefield, despite being male-dominated (thus can be politically-correctly called "rifleman" rather than "rifleperson" or "riflefighter" or "rifletrooper"). He is assisted by the support arms and service support sectors in the neverending battle to defend Blueland, and occasionally Goldland, against the onslaught of Redland Armed Forces(the choice of colour appears to be an indication of our stand in the Cold War). Through the valiant efforts of DSO, DSTA, and BTKinetics, he has been equipped with an increasingly superior technological edge in engagement. The 3G transformation also includes a Battlefield Management System, enhancing situation awareness which is crucial to the outcome of any campaign.

Learns: Dig in, Discipline, Reinforce, Rifle cleaning

Dig in:
Morale cost- 100/200/300/400.
Casting time - 1 hour/6 hours/12 hours/48 hours

Level 1: Shell scrape. +50% Evasion against low trajectory fire, +5% Evasion against high trajectory fire.
Level 2: Fire trench. +80% Evasion against low trajectory fire, +30% Evasion against high trajectory fire.
Level 3: Alternate shell scrape. +80% Evasion against low trajectory fire, +30% Evasion against high trajectory fire, takes twice as long to be overrun, and enables another Rifleman to Reinforce.

Level 4: Communications trench. +90% Evasion against low trajectory fire, +75% Evasion against high trajectory fire, takes twice as long to be overrun, and enables unlimited number of Rifleman to Reinforce.

Reinforce:
Morale cost- none.
Casting time - K+45/K+30/K+15/K

All levels: Increase one rifleman of firepower in occupied knoll.

Discipline(passive):

Level 1: Automatically engages in all-round defence when undeployed.
Level 2: Automatically casts Dig in when asked to occupy a knoll + level 1
Level 3: Automatically casts Reinforce when undeployed and near to a friendly occupied knoll +level 1 and level 2
Level 4: Automatically casts Rifle cleaning when undeployed+level 2 and level 3

Rifle Cleaning(Ultimate):
Morale cost- 100/200/300.
Casting time - 15 mins/1 hour/24 hours
(Casting times stack, also takes 1 minute to uncast)
Level 1: Reduces IA by 50%.
Level 2: Reduces IA by 80%.
Level 3: Reduces IA by 90% + Clean Rifle Effect (Orb effect. Your Rifle is so clean that your enemy's weapons in 500 range would IA out of jealousy, 20% chance of 3.75X critical hit, 15% chance of firing an M203 grenade, 5% chance of firing a MATADOR round, 1% chance of firing an 84mm HEAT round, and 0.1% chance of the enemy exploding out of sheer awesomeness of your clean rifle.)

Bonus:

Your mission readiness is so high that you are on negative 2 hours Notice to Move.

Your ET blade is so sharp that when you put it in your field pack, it cuts through the ET blade pouch, cuts through your field pack, and falls through the centre of the earth and kills everyone in Cuba with the Sharpness Aura of the sharp blade.

Your Ziploc bags are so reinforced that if a sniper tries to shoot you in the back with your field pack on, the bullet would ricochet off your Ziploc bag and fly back at him.

Your Mine-prodder is so free of rust, that it alone can sacrificially protect all metallic objects within a 1 km radius.

Your ET stick fits your ET blade so well, that once you put them together, they cold weld.

Your drills are so good, that when your company does "hentakaki", the entropy is so low when coupled with a tabletop set-up, breaking the hentakaki would make cold fusion spontaneous.

Your fighting spirit is so strong that you always man-pack a full jerry can, just in case you need to do 10 more 24 km route marches.

Your can-do spirit is so great, that you can turn white tape into anything.

You have so much élan that even Redland civilians are willing to obey your FCO.

Your situational awareness is so high that you already know where and when Vincent would lose another ADM safety pin.

2008-09-01T09:34:00.001+08:00

This post has a subliminal message embedded in it. Fot the next 6 hours, you will find that you scratch your head more often than you usually do.

2008-08-18T18:24:00.002+08:00

Maybe it's only natural to have an identity crisis in Singapore.

Thankfully, we can adapt, and we soon stop thinking about it.

How hard is it to create a group identity? It seems that any experience common to a bunch of people can create solidarity among them. Geography and politics are only two things that can make a bunch of people feel like they are similar. Having a similar race, history, culture, religion, and belief can also create solidarity among people, and cause them to differentiate themselves from the rest. Self-serving bias helps to create negative stereotypes and alienate the others.

Even a lack of communication between arbitrarily assigned groups of people can create solidarity. The inter-house rivalry, inter-class rivalry, inter-school rivalry, and even inter-platoon rivalry surfaces without any system in place to encourage it.

Singapore is an immigrant country. Creating a national identity is almost like trying to create a house identity - the people in them are only similar in that they happen to be in it. Perhaps, we could learn from the house system how this can be done.

In the case of interhouse rivalry, one way to do it would be to limit communication, distort facts about other houses, and finding ways to delude the members into thinking that they are better than the rest. In our context, it would be suicide.

Another way could be to create a unique experience. I don't know how this can be done, though.

2008-08-10T15:33:00.002+08:00

It's not possible. But it is the case.

Why not? There are times when things like these happen.

Yet...I don't understand this world anymore. And I truly believed.

It's just... unnatural...

inconceivable...

yet, outwardly inconsequantial...

Could you have imagined that this would happen?

That someday, sometime, somebody is going to blog about something so vague that you have absolutely no idea what he is referring to.

Still, for a moment, you can't bring yourself to doubt that something terrible has happened to him, because the post sounds so emo.

Like, whatever he's emoing about, I sympathise with him.

But still, at the end of it all, you have no idea what you sympathised about. Or whether there is even anything to sympathise about.

Turns out that all it takes are these symbols to make one feel sympathy. It is amazing how by encoding situations with symbols, and by the fact that we react to situations emotionally, we can in turn illicit emotions with symbols.

Even when you can't decode the situation from the symbols.

2008-08-10T08:59:00.004+08:00

This video would have been really cool if I watched it when I was 5. Now it's just hilarious.

Gundam

_____

Singapore is where you can find people reading "The God Delusion" and "When Dreams Come True(a christian inspirational story collection)" in the same platoon.

2008-08-03T00:00:00.002+08:00

Serving/giving extras is a zero-sum game. If the entire SAF gets 7 extras, nothing will change.

In a 3D world, you need 2 people pointing at something to know where they are pointing at. In a 4D world you'll need 3.

The engineer's mine prodder reminds me of Cardcaptor Sakura's wand/mace. The extended mine prodder reminds me of the wand/mace empowered with "The Sword".

Speaking of which, I was reminded of the shopping malls in Brunei. The biggest mall in the capital is called "The Mall". The second biggest mall is called "The Other Mall". The water village is called "The Water Village".

Which again, reminds me of the fact that a naming competition was held for the budget terminal in Changi Airport. The winning prize was $2000 cash and a 3G mobile phone. The winning name was "Budget Terminal", and some secondary school guy was presented the prizes by the Minister of Transport.

2008-07-26T12:40:00.006+08:00

Random thoughts:

Is the street fighter character "Chun Li" really "Li Chun", just that Americans screw up her surname/first name thingy? That would mean that no respectable Chinese would address her as "Chun Li". So maybe in the next streetfighter movie you'll see that all the Americans would call her Chun Li while Chinese call her Li Chun. [It's more likely, though, that they'll all call her Li Chun, since they address Yao Ming properly.]
_____________

Why does SAF give us fried food so often? Because 兵不厌炸(诈).

Why would people sign on to infantry? Because 读万卷书不如行万里路.
_____________

The mission statement in our OPs orders have 5 parts: who, what, where, when, and why.

The Singapore Pledge just lacks "where" and "when".

MISSION:

Who:
The citizens of Singapore

What:
1)Pledge as one united people, regardless of race, language, or religion
2)Build a democratic society based on justice and equality

Why:
So as to achieve happiness, prosperity and progress for our nation.

2008-06-21T01:58:00.002+08:00

Give a man a fish and he can eat fish for a day. Teach a man to fish and he can eat fish for the rest of his life.

Give a frog a fly and it can eat fly for a day. Teach a frog to fly and it can eat fly for the rest of its life.

2008-05-31T23:36:00.002+08:00

Fly like a crow. Crow like a pet. Pet like a parrot. Parrot like a duck. Duck from an dart. Dart to a swift. Swift as a swallow. Swallow like a fish. Fish with a fly.

Try to find more nouns that are also adjectives or intransitive verbs (Bear wouldn't work because it's not an intransitive verb).

I think that the SAF is like the sting of a bee.

Why do we swallow food that taste good? The joy from good food only comes from the taste and texture, which are mostly gone before one starts to swallow whatever mash is left of the food. Maybe there are two separate things that we try to do when we eat good-tasting food. One is to taste the food, and the other is to keep ourselves from being hungry. So, when we put good-tasting food into our mouths, we are trying to achieve two separate things at once. However, this suggestion doesn't seem to stand up to scrutiny. Even if we eat when we are not hungry, we still swallow the food. I suspect that the reason why we swallow food is because it is the only alternative to spitting out the food that still have some taste. Maybe we could try an experiment with hard sweets that taste sweet on the outside, but have absolutely no taste(doesn't taste good or bad) on the inside(the inside must be soluble and cause no problems when ingested). See if people would spit out the hard sweet once it has no taste.

2008-05-30T22:43:00.002+08:00

You are given a map, and the map grid reference (basically the x and y coordinates of the point on the map) of 2 points. You are asked to find the distance between those two points. You only have the map, protractor with ruler, the question paper, the answer sheet, and a pen. Your table is 30cm by 30cm large , the map is 1m by 1m, and the room is so packed that the students' elbows touch each other. How do you find the distance between the two points?

Method one: Plot the points and measure the distance, and convert with scale.

Method two: Find the distance using the map grid reference using Pythagoras' theorem. (Disregard the fact the you do not have a calculator)

Knowing me, I did the 2nd method.

I estimated the hypotenuse of a 110m by 500m triangle without a calculator to be 514m. =)

So happy to be able to use JC math.

2008-05-20T17:52:00.002+08:00

If I could bring a pokemon with me into army, I would choose Diglett.

Why?

1. Can help to dig shell scrape, fire trench, MG trench, command trench.
2. Can help to recce.
3. Can set off enemy tripflares at night and screw up their ambush.
4. Can help to clear minefield.
5. Can turn enemy claymores backwards at night.
6. Can summon earthquake and pwn the enemy's firebase.
7. Can overturn enemy combat trains.

Other good pokemon to bring:

Abra: Teleport you everywhere.
Pikachu: Can summon CAT 1.
Espeon: Its clairvoyance would be extremely helpful when people lose stuff.

Bad pokemon to bring:

Magnamite: Screws up your compass.
Hypno: As if everyone isn't sleepy enough already.
Charizard: Not tactical, especially at night.

2008-05-18T23:48:00.002+08:00

If the world of Pokemon existed, Pokemon would unlikely be called "Pokemon", and the people's main preoccupation would unlikely be about Pokemon fights.

When we look at the world of Pokemon carefully, we would soon realize that the main difference between the Pokemon world and our world is due the amazing contraption called the Pokeball. When a Pokeball is thrown at any object, it would store that object into itself, while the mass and weight of the object completely disappears.

So in the Pokemon world, a Pokemon is basically... just any creature that can be found in the wild, and Pokemon trainers are people who bother to put them into Pokeballs. The word "Pokemon" supposedly stands for "pocket monster", but the thing is, those creatures are capable of being fitted into pockets only because of this invention called "Pokeball", and not due to any special characteristic of their own. It's as lame as calling all animals CageAnimals or all water BottleWater, just because they can be stored in cages or bottles respectively.

In the world of Pokemon, energy is not conserved. If you lift up a Pokeball with an Onix, then release the Onix at the top, store the Onix back into the Pokeball and repeat, you'll get a free energy generator. If anyone can ever invent something like a Pokeball, the world would probably be consuming energy without giving two hoots about oil prices and global warming. A world unbound by energy constraints seems pretty good.

Warfare would be damn different with Pokeballs. If timed bombs explode in Pokeballs, then people would be able to carry unlimited amounts of ordnance, so you could pretty much have a Tsar bomb hidden in a purse. If they don't, then the whole world is pretty much immune to nukes, considering that Pokeballs are damn cheap.

No matter how powerful your armoured weapons are, you have to be wary of MGs that fire Pokeballs 'cos it's instant KO for anything to get hit by it.

If two Pokeballs hit each other, and one of them enters the other, how would you know which Pokeball entered which Pokeball?

A war would only involve Commandoes bringing an entire army of Pokeballs into the enemy capital.

As I think more and more about it, Pokeballs sound like damn frigging imba things to have.

2008-05-01T01:13:00.002+08:00

Why are plane mirror images laterally inverted and not vertically inverted?

It actually has little to do with the plane mirror.

Suppose I say, "Show me that a mirror image is laterally inverted."

What you would probably do is:

Step 1: Show me two copies of a piece of paper with the letter 'b'
Step 2: Place one of them in front of a plane mirror, with the letter 'b' facing the plane mirror
Step 3: Place the other one next to the mirror image, with the letter 'b' facing us.

Then, it is easy to see, that the mirror image shows the letter 'd' while the paper shows the letter 'b'.

However, let us examine what you did in step 3: you rotated the piece of paper about the vertical axis. Is that the only way which you can make the piece of paper face yourself so that you can read it? Clearly not. You could rotate the piece of paper about the horizontal axis as well. In that case, you would get a letter 'p' while the paper shows the letter 'b'. Now, isn't the mirror image now vertically inverted?

When we compare the real object and the mirror image, nothing dictates that we can't rotate the object about the horizontal axis to make it face us. The crux of this problem is in identifying that in our common experience, in order to make an object that originally faced forward face us, we would rotate it about the vertical axis.

Thus, the image of a plane mirror being laterally inverted is NOT a physical property of a plane mirror. It is due to the way you rotate the object to make it face yourself.

2008-04-26T21:59:00.002+08:00

Random excerpt from a rare 20-minute breakfast conversation (usually we only have about 5-10 minutes to eat).

"Anyone wants another piece of bread?"
"Hey, we still have some time left! Why aren't you eating more?"
"This is not like water parade, where you can always drink more if you drink slowly."
"This reminds me of Zeno's paradox."
"What's that?"
"In order to move from one point to another, you must move half the distance in a certain amount of time. But after halving the distance, you'll still need to halve the distance again in a certain amount of time... so on and so forth."
"Basically it's just sum GP to infinity."
"Yeh, the paradox is resolved by removing the assumption that an infinity number of steps must take an infinite amount of time."
"It's beautiful that infinity can be actually be described by a particular number with a particular sequence."
"OMG this must be the most intellectual conversation we've had for the past few weeks!"
"Guys, we need to fall in soon."

Exeunt.

2008-04-19T13:09:00.002+08:00

SHAG. Wake up at 6 am, finish live firing at 9 pm, clean weapons until 4 am, sleep from 5 am to 6 am.

There is this prefix called "meta", which seems to indicate self reference. For example, meta-ethics is philosophy of what-ethics-is (as opposed to what is ethical), meta-mathematics is the philosophy of what-mathematics-is, meta-humour is humour based on other humour sources...So I extrapolate that blogging about blogging about blogging is called meta-meta-blogging.

Interestingly, when you are meta-meta-blogging, you are also meta-blogging, since you are blogging about meta-blogging, which is blogging.

This leads me to conclude that when one says that he's blogging, he could really be doing an infinite number of things: blogging, meta-blogging, meta-meta-blogging... and (meta-)^infinity blogging.

Guess what I have been doing for the past 15 minutes. I have been meta-(meta-)^infinity blogging. Oops! I just meta-(meta-)^infinity+1 blogged! Oh no! Not again! Would Georg Cantor please tell me what I've been doing for the past 16 minutes?

2008-04-13T00:22:00.002+08:00

I'm back, and I missed home more than I thought I would.

I hereby add one more condition to the definition of "Knowledge": you must actually remember it!

Which is why people know they have to bring something, but they don't bring it.

2008-03-23T23:38:00.002+08:00

I'm an ORC. My life for the horde.

Here is to wish everyone all the best to them for whatever path they are given.

Oh gosh.

3 weeks confinement!

See you again then!

Wheeeeeeeeeeeee...

2008-03-21T00:09:00.002+08:00

I find the words "you" and "we" particularly interesting. With the inclusion of these words, the writer of a sentence would appear to be making a connection with the reader. I'm not sure if it's just me, but reading a blog full of "you" and "we" just feels different from reading non-fiction. It fascinates me that if someone were to write an entry containing "you" and "we", even after he/she's dead, a reader would, for a moment, think that the writer is alive and interacting with the reader.

It is a strange feeling to be looking at pictures of my father in BMT. He was 18 then, younger than my current age(which is 19, to facilitate my future rereading of this blog). A trivial but important thing about age is that if you are younger than someone, you would always be younger. But when you access the past through memory of others or your own, or through artifacts, it enables you to look at the actions and mindsets of elders when they were young from a slightly more mature and modern perspective. It is quite refreshing that while an elder of the present is more experienced and mature than you of the present, you of the present can be more experienced and mature than an elder of the past.

It is also quite amazing to meet someone of the same age who lives in a different generation and environment from us. Remnants of them reside in the memories of the elders. There are so many 19 year olds around us.

I am glad that there are many who blog about their lives. Provided they do not delete their blogs (or blogspot doesn't crash like a diary-x), they provide the newer generation an outlook of their lives when they were much younger, if the younger are interested. (Oh yes, NLB is archiving popular blogs, good for all!) I mean, wouldn't you be curious if you could read your parents' petty squabbles with their classmates, or random rants about homework/particularly irritating people when they were, say, 15 years old? Or even more cute, with the benefit of hindsight, your kid could read how you had a crush on someone, while your spouse(his dad/mom) is still completely oblivious. Reading their blogs side by side would be like real time action for them. (Though there would still be a lot of self-censorship, since it's a public domain after all.)

Sometimes I do find it easy to forget that a 50 year old elder hasn't been 50 years old for 50 years. If the youths of the future do get access to their parents' blogs, those youths are going to have a heck of a time reading their parents growing up. I know, my children wouldn't have a chance, since I don't blog much about my life anymore.

2008-03-18T14:50:00.003+08:00

Some grammatical rules are not always followed. One example I cannot help but notice is that conjunctions are not always used to join sentences together. The full stop and exclamation mark are supposed to end a sentence, and a sentence is to be begun with an uppercase character, but- Alas! this is also not always the case.

By the way, I am the most humble person in the world. (The fact is that I am the most humble person in the universe, but I only claim to be the most humble person in the world. This just shows how humble I am - never mind the extremely high likelihood that the only people in the universe are in this world.)

It is my humble opinion that one should perhaps refrain from the use of weasel words, as they can occasionally cause the sentence to be- in many people's view- unnecessarily lengthened. It is also not impossible to show that any proposition, when sufficient padded with weasel words, can become so shrouded in uncertainty that it may not convey enough meaning. The use of weasel words may therefore be considered as dishonest, since the user pretends to make a proposition, yet gives him/herself such a large error margin that he/she can perhaps never be wrong.

Jam.

2008-03-08T17:42:00.002+08:00

Hohoho look what I've found on the net: KI Tuition!!

I'm interested to know who "May" is, and whether she has found clients yet.

Points to note:
-$60 per hour is bloody expensive for May's qualifications. For the sake of comparison, a Physics Olympiad absolute winner with teaching experience and a degree charges $50 per hour to teach physics.

- "It is likely that a maximum of five hours (in total) will be needed only"... While I understand that the tutor is talented enough to master all aspects of KI in just five hours, I'm afraid that those who need tuition aren't.

Ok, ok, I shan't talk too much; after all, she's has scored 'A' consistently for KI while I haven't. But damn, if she gets a client, she'll be earning in an hour what I earn in five days. Yes, civilian May, go ahead and laugh.

Oh, and I'm very happy about my A level results.

2008-02-23T18:46:00.005+08:00

A not-serious-but-critical review of "The Prince" by Niccolo Machiavelli. [You could interpret this fragment in 2 ways, but obviously only one is correct]

When I read "The Prince", I felt like I was reading "FAQ about Princedom". Take note of the length and title of each chapter, and you might agree with me.

Personally speaking, Niccolo Machiavelli is a damn cool name (though "Machiavalentova" would sound cooler), and he makes interesting comments like "It is far safer to be feared than to be loved" and "Fortune is the mistress to half of our actions yet leaves the control of the other half to ourselves", which makes anyone who quotes him feel good. Still, that doesn't immunize his work against critical review.

Since the knowledge of government is a posteriori knowledge, we would expect much of the arguments to be inductive. One example of such argument in his book is:

P: In all the places I have been to and from all the historical documents I have read, inherited Princedoms are more stable than new Princedoms.

C: Therefore all inherited Princedoms are more stable than new Princedoms.

Of course, in his book, this is not so clearly spelled out. He simply states that inherited Princedoms are more stable than new Princedoms, and gives one case of such(although if you look at the example he gave, you can clearly see that it is a hypothesis contrary to fact). That is a weak inductive argument. An example of a strong inductive argument in support of the statement "all inherited Princedoms are more stable than new Princedoms" would be:

P1: Princedom A is inherited, and Princedom A is stable.
P2: Princedom B is inherited, and Princedom B is stable.
-
- (ditto)
-
-
Pn: Princedom n is not inherited, and Princedom n is not stable.
-
-
- (ditto)
-
PN: Princedom N is not inherited, and Princedom N is not stable.

C: Therefore all inherited Princedoms are more stable than new Princedoms.

We can see that making a table of stable/unstable princedoms and comparing their characteristics would make a more convincing argument than just stating a couple of examples, which Machiavelli had done. Nowadays, tables of statistics are necessary for political studies. Just look at all the papers that support the "monadic democracy peace theory". If you put Machiavelli's book next to those papers, "The Prince" would just seem like a collection of opinions. However, note that in his dedication to the Italian Prince, Machiavelli claims that the things he had written in his book are what he has learned and known through a great deal of suffering, danger and hardship. This is supposed to give all the statements in his book the backing of authority on the subject, but this still leaves much of his statements open to doubt.

One example of another type of argument he uses is as such:

If you use mercenaries, there are two possible cases. Case one: the mercenaries are too cowardly and stupid to be of any use in war. Case two: they are so courageous and smart that they would plot against you in war. You do not want either things to happen, therefore you should never use mercenaries.

Clearly a fallacy of false dichotomy.

I apologize in advance to anyone who might be offended by my lack of intellectual humility, but I do wonder how this book became a classic. If this book were so good, why didn't the Italian Prince keep it properly in a secret closet and use it to conquer and control other princedoms, rather than letting it be read by everyone? Kinda interesting, isn't it?

Summary: Quite nice to read, but not very reliable.

2008-02-07T16:26:00.000+08:00

There are vegetarian foods that are designed to imitate the look, taste and texture of meat. Generally speaking, these foods are highly processed, and are not a healthy substitute for meat. By hasty generalization, I generalize that the vegetarians who eat such foods are not doing so for health reasons, but for the sake of compassion.

Some people question whether the vegetarians who eat these sort of vegetarian food really become vegetarians for the sake of compassion, since they are still have the desire to eat meat. However, I do not think it is problematic. The desire to eat meat does not necessarily imply a desire to take lives. I suppose their motto is "When the buying stops, the killing will too." If you have issues with vegetarians who eat imitation meat, I'll suppose you'll have issues with people who eat imitation sharks fin too.

One loophole in the motto "When the buying stops, the killing will too" is that stealing shark's fin soup is actually fine, since you are not buying it. You also can't be said to be contributing to the demand of shark's fin, since you have the desire but not the ability to eat shark's fin. So one way to eat shark's fin and be environmentally friendly about it is to steal shark's fin soup from the restaurant.

I've once thought about this: how do the people who make and sell imitation meat know what they taste like? Then I recalled that one doesn't have to be a vegetarian to sell or make vegetarian food. Generally speaking again, most of the people who sell Muslim food are also Muslims, so maybe that explains why there isn't halal imitation pork on the market yet. (I await the day that one can order "nasi babi" without getting hollered at.)

So if we follow the standards of vegetarians, it seems like only the next thing to do to get the cannibals to make and sell imitation human meat. After all, having a desire to consume human meat doesn't imply a desire to kill humans. My eldest sister once said, "To know if a French restaurant is good, you must see if the French patronize it." Therefore, if you see many cannibals patronizing an imitation human meat restaurant, you'll know if it's really good. Of course, a small problem comes in when you want to find out which people in the restaurant are cannibals.

If imitation human meat becomes a hit, I wonder if the stem cell researchers would try to catch up by introducing consumers real human meat into the market. Sounds interesting. Would you want to try human meat?

2008-02-02T23:01:00.000+08:00

Random:

We had orange for dessert during lunch at live range.

Sarge is still called sarge in NS.

If you really want to hardcore your studies, when you dream, you should only spend your time doing math. This is because mathematical knowledge is a priori, so no matter what crazy situation you find yourself being thrown in, a mathematical proof that's right in your dreams would be right out in the real world, unless you made mistakes.

If you ever suspect that you are trapped in Plato's cave, you should get a mathematics degree. Even if some guy decides to drag you out of the cave and bring you to the "real world", your degree will still be recognized! Sad for the people who study medicine and astronomy; all their mugging will go down the drain.

There is a platoon sergeant called "Valentova". I think Valentova is a cool name. Maybe it's cool because of the -ova suffix.

Alwynova.
Xiamanova.
Alexova.
Clementova.
Mitchellova.
Lincolnova.
Jimrova.

2008-01-26T12:07:00.000+08:00

Random:

Yes, I do think that Zheng Ning is damn chio.

And I would like to see a tanned Alwyn with crew cut and black rimmed plastic spectacles.

Chairs are bad for the environment. This is because in the production of chairs, metal ores are dug up, trees are cut down, and fossil fuels are burned during the production of chairs. All these lead to the degradation of the environment. Not only that, chairs themselves also degrade the environment after they have been discarded. Burning chairs releases toxic fumes in to air, leading to air pollution. Plastic and metal chairs can take a long time to degrade in the landfills, and even after they degrade, they leech poisonous substances into the groundwater, which eventually flows into the seas, leading to water pollution.

Water pollution poisons fish. At a first glance, this appears to be bad news for fishermen. However, we must recall that even though the fish may be subject to poison, most can actually still live in polluted waters. Those fish that get adversely affected are the larger predatory fish, as the small amounts of poison from the fish they eat tend to accumulate in their bodies, and their population will drop. As water pollution tends to kill the larger fish more, there would be less big fish to eat the smaller fish. As a result, the fish can multiply even faster since there are less things gobbling them up. Therefore, water pollution actually leads to an increase in the fish population in the seas, and hence water pollution is good for fishermen.

Therefore, we can safely conclude that chairs are good for fishermen. Since fishermen are part of the country, what's good for the fishermen are also good for the country, and since chairs are good for fishermen, the government ought to give tax incentives to encourage factories to produce more chairs.

2008-01-10T22:11:00.000+08:00

My last blog post as a civilian.

During last year and for the small bit of this year combined, the events that have occurred were somewhat bizarre. Although I really wanted to be in the National Team, I didn't quite see myself in it, so the whole Olympiad experience has been rather surreal. Some events that are pretty unlikely happened anyway. It has been hard to make sense of a lot of events, and I figured it would be easier to just take things as they come by. This could be why I'm not quite as anxious about NS as my parents and siblings and friends are.

I'm hoping to take the two years in army as a chance to learn as much as possible. Although I wouldn't expect NS to be a bed of roses, I'm sure that it would be an enriching and enlightening experience.

I remember in J1, Zilin told me that she was crossed with someone, because he commented on a lousy essay being "something that even an ITE student can come up with", and I didn't know why that comment pissed her off. I went back to my mother and sister, and they immediately picked out that it was derogatory to ITE students. That incident had left me thinking how horribly narrow my perspective had been all these while. Having spent 4 years in RI, I was not exposed to the people from neighbourhood secondary schools and ITEs, and had formed prejudices against them unconsciously. Hopefully, by being exposed to people from different strata in the society, I can gain a broader perspective of things.

In any case, for girls and people from countries without conscription, working for the military must sound pretty exciting. I mean, some ang mohs take a year off to work in an office or do community service in Africa after they graduate from High School, serving the military (especially in a combat position) probably sounds quite refreshing. I agree that life in the military is not something everyone wants to experience, but then again, it's not something everyone gets to experience.

People say that it's a waste of two years, but hey, compared to average lifespan of 80+, it really doesn't make that much of a difference. And for the RJ guys who are complaining that the girls in their batch don't look pretty, serving NS means that you're not going to be in the same batch as them again in university. We would go to university in the same year as Koh Zheng Ning!!! Doesn't that alone worth 2% of your lifespan?

Hanging around with a new bunch of people is going to be a test of my social skills yet again. I shall try to do better than I have done before. If I succeed, it could be rewarding.

Maybe I'm still young and idealistic. NS has a proven track record for turning people into cynics, but well, at least if I do, when I read this post again, I get to laugh at myself!

Ok, see you in at least 3 weeks. NS has a proven track record for killing blogs too, so I may not see you again after all.

2008-01-09T21:46:00.000+08:00

Went back to school today in RI uniform. I initially intended to crash some J1 lectures, but I forgot to consider the fact that it's Wednesday, and the J1s end school early. Thus, I didn't get to crash any lectures. However, I got to screw around in CCA Feste. Sadly, Dr Chan banned a lot of demonstrations (partly my fault), so it wasn't very exciting.

I asked a teacher if the RI and RJC merger means anything for them, he said that the school didn't tell them anything. Apparently, RI and RJC weren't planning to announce it; it just so happened that some reporter got the scoop, and the schools had to tell them some things "so that [the reporters] have something to report, else they anyhow report then even worse right?"

Talked to Mrs Lim, my ex-former physics teacher. She said that she is thinking of suggesting to the school board that they hire a trainer for Physics Olympiad. If it follows through, then we'd have NUSHS and Ricardo to thank for raising the standards of the Singapore National Team. I'm sure that if RJC can afford Air Conditioned classrooms and an unused Plasma TV in the Library, they would be able to afford a trainer.

And this batch of J1s are very lucky. They have the Campus Super Star 2 finalist: Dance Queen Koh Zheng Ning! DAMN CHIO! I didn't dream that I'll get to see her in real life... *drool...*

Recently I watched an interesting debate. It was a debate on whether people should go for cosmetic surgery. Egypt was the proposition, and Korea was the opposition. The irony is that Egypt is an Arab Republic, while Korea is almost the Land of cosmetic surgery. I was sniggering all the way when the Korean representative was saying "Cosmetic surgery is the product of the misogynistic standards of beauty that men have set for women, yet many women still continue to subject themselves to such self-mutilation." As the judge pointed out, "It was as though the Korean women have suffered years of oppression by men, simmered their indignations for all these while, and took this debate as an opportunity to lash out at their tormentors."

2008-01-08T11:48:00.000+08:00

Breaking news! RI and RJC are merging, but RGS opts out. Since both RI and RJC are both so dear to me (though more dear to those not under EESIS), I feel obliged to indulge in wild speculations about this matter from the perspective of an average Rafflesian. Oh wait, I'm already an alumnus.

Now the merger of RI and RJC is really nothing but the restoration to the 1970's times. You could also claim that it is a copycat of the HCI merger. Either case, this announced merger not really a ground breaking idea(on hindsight at least). They started planning since 2004, the year which HCJC and TCHS (THE Chinese High School) merged to form HCI and started abusing their status by sending their J1 athletes to play B division. This exploit was fixed by the Singapore Sports Council the following year, so revenge is out of the question.

Of course, when large organizations act, it is usually not out of goodwill or for old times' sake. On the news, they representatives claim that the merger between RI and RJC means less admin work for both sides. However, I suspect that in reality they are going to get a lot more admin work, since they will have to gather feedback about this new thing, propose changes, and evaluate the feasibility of the proposals. 2008 will be a tough year for the teachers of both schools.

Surely there are some other benefits? RI doesn't need to rent the track and Multipurpose Hall from RJC any more; they just need to apply. RI prefects can go to RJC to book people who cut queue in the RJ canteen and 7-eleven. RI prefects and RJC councillors can alternately summon each other for match support (or they might even merge too, but I highly doubt so). RI boys can go study in the RJ library and RJC people can go to sleep in the RI library. Of course, VERY importantly, as mentioned by Ho Wen Jun, a larger pool of teachers. RI boys who are very 'on' could crash RJ lectures during Research Education (does it still exist? I really hope not) on the grounds that they are, after all, from the same school. From the looks of it, RI-RJC merger appears to benefit RI more.

Let's take a look at the CCAs. If RI and RJC merges, then they can have 6 year CCAs. This wouldn't be very much different from the status quo for Sports and Performing Arts CCAs. Clubs and Societies have a problem, though. RI Clubs are, frankly, war machines to help RI win competitions. RJ Clubs, on the other hand, are interest groups. Interest groups and war machines operate in a different manner, in the sense that minions of war machines are more elite and motivated than members of interest groups. You put the minions into the war machine, tell them what to aim for, and they will work hard at it, because they can see the goal. Interest groups don't have a goal unless they set it. "We love chem! Yay! ... Now what?" (Really, the natural thing to do is to cast an invulnerability spell on the members, and put them into a Chem Preparation Lab. I can guarantee unanimous support for the above proposal, unfortunately it is not entirely feasible.)

On the surface it doesn't make sense to merge Clubs from RI and RJC together, since they are so different. But we could promote the RI Science Club into a 6 year club, and split it into divisions for each Olympiad. From the crushing defeat at SPhO, RJC ought to realize by now that they REALLY need a war machine if they want to "reign supreme in ev'ry sphere". Currently an RI quiz team member can look ahead and see "NUS Physics", "Eureka", "VJC" etc. Stretching it to 6 years would simply be bringing (an) additional goal(s) into their line of sight. I foresee a side effect though. I suspect that some RJC Clubs currently survive partly because of their perceived elite status. When RISC is pushed to 6 years, some of the RJC Clubs may lose some of their stronger members to RISC, and the perceived elite status will be removed. This may kill off some RJC Clubs.

And of course, this plan wouldn't work if RJC don't hire trainers for the proposed 6 year RISC. RJC, please hire trainers. You've seen that it makes a difference. Since you wish to scrap A levels, you'll need to have something else to show that you are still good enough to do that a few years from now.

Speaking of the scrapping of A levels, it's not for the whole college. The scheme is called "Raffles Diploma" (a rip-off from NUS High), but it is a continuation of Raffles Academy (A two year programme for an elite group of Secondary 3 and 4 students). Only 100+ students will be doing Raffles Diploma per batch. Note that each batch of RJC has 1200+ students. Quoting statistics, in 2006 A-levels, 912 RJ students scored at least three As or more (the highest number among all the junior colleges). I think this pretty much justifies that the top 100+ students from RJC will pwn A levels anyway.

Some people are wondering why RGS is not in the merger. I'd suppose it's no surprise to Rafflesians. RI and RJC are next to each other. RGS is in the middle of somewhere else. You can't even take a direct bus from RI to RGS(Correct me if I'm wrong). And to RI boys, RJC is just RI with girls. It's almost the same uniform, crest, school anthem and school cheers. RJC was born when it was split from RI in 1982. RGS was split from RI in 1879. Big difference. Claiming that two schools so far apart physically, historically and culturally are one would sound superficial.

Besides, you'll need to change the School Anthem, since the melody of anthem is such that you'll only need to hear it once to know that it wasn't composed for girls. Compare "Come heed the call Rafflesians all" and "With God to guide the way". And I wouldn't expect the RGS girls to sing the line "The Sons of Singapore", when their own song has so many "Sisters" in it.

After RI and RJC merges, what shall it be called? Here are a few suggestions:

1. Raffles Institution(RI). Just reverting back to the same old thing. No harm done, really.
2. The Rafflesian Institute(TRI). Good for mocking Hwa Chong. TRI is also oxymoronic because TRI consists of two schools instead of three.
3. Raffles School(RS). "School" doesn't sound impressive enough for me. I'm sure it wouldn't impress the very school that coined the term "Raffles Academy".
4. Raffles High School(RHS). Sounds like a rip-off of NUS High. RHS also stands for "Right Hand Side".
5. Raffles College(RC). Sounds very nice, but RI+RJC doesn't qualify as a college, unless it teaches undergrad courses. It would be near impossible, but if they do try, it would be very interesting indeed.

2008-01-05T01:53:00.000+08:00

Blog didn't die after 3 weeks. Whee!

As usual, I wouldn't blog about the most obvious things to blog about. I shall blog about a person with an interesting name. Katherine(or Catherine) Wicker. This name isn't particularly interesting. What's interesting is her pet name "Kitty". It's not really a pet name, since everyone calls her Kitty, and if a stranger (unless it be a policeman) asks for her name she'll introduce herself as "Kitty". You meet her for the first time and you go "Hello Kitty!"

It may still be fine right now, since she's 21. But I'll be interested to know the cut-off age after which calling a woman "Kitty" would sound plain weird. This is especially so in Western Culture where they are fine with calling their parents by name. Having your son call you Kitty is seriously... strange. What could be stranger than calling your mom "Kitty"? Calling your girlfriend's mom Kitty.

Kitty the person is quite interesting too. She studies linguistics in university. LIEK O.M.G. COOL. Among other things, she learns conversation analysis(study what the pauses in a conversation mean), voice analysis (find out if two audio recordings are from the same person), and phonology (classify, learn and produce sounds that form words in any language).

Phonology is quite cool! They have a system of classification of sounds by how it is produced, and each sound contains information about the mouth position and the air flow and throat vibration, and words are combinations of sounds. Tonal changes, clicks and inhalations are reflected too. *gasp!*

According to Kitty, this system of classification allows people to state specifically how one accent sounds like, thus helping them mimic and create accents if they want to.

They use big words. "Voiceless Uvular Fricative". Sexy. "Bilabial Implosive". Even sexier. The use of big and sexy words just to describe sounds- something so crucial to a conversation- allows you to kill a conversation with ease.

"What's the difference between 'whee' and 'wee'?"
"Well, 'w' is a voiceless bilabial fricative."

*silence*

Of course, one wouldn't need to use that ability too often. It's just cool to know that you can do it. (A parallel here is that there are people who learn to kill people with bare hands. It's not like they'll be using it, but it's just cool to know that they could if they want to.)

Speaking of sounds, here are a few tongue twisters for Singaporeans! Apparently they are not difficult for the British.

The Dentist's crisps fell into the wasps' nests.

Three thousand two hundred and thirty three twee thistle trees.

Red Loli Yellow Lorry (repeat)
_______

I've been wanting to blog about this for a long time, but I've never gotten down to it.

Some songs are made of long strings of nouns and adjectives. In my opinion, songs like these are demanding to be parodied. Examples include "Once upon a December" and "My favourite things"(in The Sound of Music).

I didn't blog about this before because I haven't thought of how to parody them yet. I would need some help.

2007-12-11T19:57:00.000+08:00

Random thought:

"Buddha jumps over the wall", in my opinion, is by far the BEST name that any dish can have. The name of the dish is itself a complete and grammatically correct sentence. Being the name of a dish, this makes it a proper noun too. This leads to interesting possible constructions of garden-path sentences such as:

"The Buddha jumps over the wall tastes good."

"I like Buddha jumps over the wall."

Seriously, how cool is it to have the name of a dish being a complete sentence? What's more, this complete sentence tells you nothing about the dish, which makes its name all the more cool.

Supposedly the name of the dish is meant to imply that the dish, which contains meat, is so good that even Buddha himself, an advocate of vegetarianism (if there's such a word), would jump over the wall to eat it. Good thing though that Buddha is mortal, otherwise that would constitute as blasphemy.

Perhaps the name of the dish itself pokes fun at Buddhism. The name does make sense, since Buddha doesn't have special powers, so he could only jump over a wall. But what if the one whom one wishes to suan has some powers? Let's see...

Moses parts the wall.
Jesus rebukes the wall.
Muhammad flies over the wall.
Xenu H-bombs the wall.
Xun Zi punishes the wall.
Lao Zi becomes one with the wall.
Mencius nurtures the wall.
Shiva destroys the wall.
Vishnu creates an opening in the wall.
Brahma... preserves his status of hunger.

I'm off for England tomorrow, not sure if I'll have internet access. Blog may die.